Lessons For Dogs

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Things Dogs Must Try To Remember

Give a dog a phone
  • The dustman is not stealing our stuff even though I haven't gotten the chance to rip the bag to shreds to see what was in it.
  • I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
  • I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
  • I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
  • I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
  • I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up or have an accident.
  • I will not throw up in the car.
  • I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
  • I will not lick my human's face after eating animal dung.
  • "Kitty box crunchies" are not food!
  • I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard or house depending on which end processes it first.
  • I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
  • I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell him.
So Long, And Thanks For Laughing

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