music
Created | Updated Apr 8, 2002
Many earth people like to listen to something called "music", but strangely enough, they do not agree on what true music is. Some, those who consider themselves very cultured, believe true music is only to be found in opera with ladies roughly the size of North Dakota making noises that at any other location would cause a riot. But it in a opera hall it is considered a high form of entertainment. Others like to listen to noises, caused by electric guitars which do not seemed to have been tuned since the late 60's, roughly the time the guitarist began taking drugs. These songs are usually accompanied by vocals, but it is impossible to hear what the singer is saying. This is usually because he is under the influence of stimulants, such as LSD, heroine, or in the case of older rock stars, coffee. Still other earth creatures like the new "soft rock", usually sung by groups who do not play any instrument, do not write their own music, cannot even entertain the idea of having a bass voice in theri midst, and all seem to have stepped out of GQ magazine. Everyone on earth, with the exception of girls aged 10-16, think that these groups should not even venture to call themselves muscians, but cna hardly get that sentence out before they are beaten to death by the teenaged girls. Still others like pop, folk, or (God help us) classical. Apparently the music wars will continue until the end of the Earth, roughly 12 minutes from now.
