Conversation:

I believe that a Scotsman doesnt have to be drunk to be offended by his kilt being called a dress.

No, but it helps his eloquent and cheerie riposte.

Who kilt the sporran? OK crap joke but I like it!

MAN SKIRT.

interestingly enough, there's an entire "hobby," if you will, called Kilt Lifting. You can acquire the supplies needed here:

http://www.verymerryseamstress.com/kiltlift.htm

enjoy!