A Conversation for Douglas Adams - His Life and Worlds

Update Forum: A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 1

U168592

Entry: Douglas Adams - Update - A10647218
Author: Matt James - (on 'nights' - *yawn*) - U168592

This is an Update of the Original Entry, as stated.

It is mostly minor changes, but I believe there are too many GuideML updates, added links and changes within the text to simply submit it to EF for a Curator or the Eds to do.

I haven't contacted all the contributor's as it is after all mainly minor alterations (removal of past tense and first person references).

Hope it's okay with the new additions.

MJ smiley - ok


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 2

Mikey the Humming Mouse - A3938628 Learn More About the Edited Guide!

Even if the changes are minor, you still should contact the authors any time you're doing an update.

The first person references that I remember seeing in the original were first person plural, and I'd consider those quite appropriate, especially given the relationship of the subject with the site. Removing those doesn't seem to have improved the entry substantially, but does seem to have taken out a little of the warmth that is in the current EG entry.


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 3

Gnomon [194] gone to Greece - back in 2 weeks

If I have time, I'll compare your version with the original and see what I think.


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 4

Mina

A3790659 - original entry.

Some of these comments are about content in the original entry as well, but they might as well be looked at now.

I appreciate that you wanted to update this bit:

With the movie of The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy due to hit cinema screens on 28 April, we thought it was about time that we put together a biography of our beloved founder.

But perhaps instead of removing it you could put something like:

Since the release of the movie The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, Douglas's name has really hit the headlines and here's his biography

That's clearly rubbish, but something like that. It get mention of the movie in straight away for someone who might have googled and doesn't know who he is, or why the entry has come up in a search.

Tthis bit:

He was 11 when he first got anything into print - a short story in the boy's annual Eagle, about a man who lost his memory.

Seems really out of place. It's part of a paragraph about him being a slow developer, so that reads as if getting into print is also slow development, when really that's kind of impressive (living with an 11 year old as I do, getting them to write anything can be impossible).

I'd add it to the end of the next paragraph instead.

'aloof and rather pleased with themselves'

Either italics or quotes when quoting speech, not both. smiley - ok That goes for all quotes through the entry.

They were approached with the question "We're making this film. Would you like to come with us to produce and direct it?"

Double quotes should be single.




A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 5

U168592

Changes made smiley - ok And contact will be made with other contributors. smiley - ok


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 6

Galigan

hallo there. just thought i'd pop by because my name's on this thing and i wanted to feel i'd earned that privelege. i've read through a bit but i don't have time now so i will finish it later and hopefully have time to say something.

anyway looks good so far, and that bit about his short story makes more sense with the 'But' in there now. good work MJ. smiley - ok


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 7

U168592

Right I've added more links that I feel are appropriate and I've also added more 'warmth' (not sure there was all that much to begin with, other than the first paragraph). I have also removed some wording as I feel it was casting certain people (namely Peter) in a bad light. Have also rewritten a few clunky sentences and fixed the obvious (to me anyway) spelling and punctuation errors in the original (I think, smiley - erm there may be more).

smiley - ok


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 8

Gnomon [194] gone to Greece - back in 2 weeks

Matt,

Your version is a definite improvement on the original.smiley - ok

There are just a few things I'd like to change (of course smiley - winkeye). Some of them are things from the original which needed changing:

I feel your comment about deoxyribonucleic acid is out of place. It might be better as one of the fascinating facts. Adams delighted in the fact that he was the first DNA discovered in Cambridge.

The sentence about him getting something into print at the age of 11 comes before the section on him winning a prize for writing at age 10. The age 11 one should be moved to just after the age 11 and reworded appropriately.

he was still more interested in the field of science -- nothing has yet been said about his interest in Science, so it shouldn't be 'still'

I'm not sure whether you should say "Douglas" or "Adams". I'd favour "Adams" myself, as this is standard British journalism practice.

Your text about Shada doesn't read quite right. Instead of:

"This was due to strike action at the BBC..." you could say:

"The adventure was shelved due to strike action at the BBC..."

You might (or might not) want to put a link to John Lloyd's h2g2 personal space (he is a registered researcher although he only signed up to ask us to support some charity cause).


smiley - smiley G


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 9

Elentari

Wouldn't it make sense to ask Jim Lynn to read this when he gets a chance, since he knew DNA personally?


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 10

U168592

Thanks G smiley - smiley

I've updated again with your suggestions, all of which I agree with whole-heartedly, except the use of the term 'Adams' in reference to the man himself. I know it's journalistic parlance, but I feel it's a little impersonal and as said by Mikey (I think), for a subject so close to the heart of h2g2, feel that perhaps referring to him as you would a friend is better. smiley - smiley

As far as John's U Number, I think it's nice to see U42 as the only referenced Researcher on the side bar smiley - winkeye

smiley - ta again,

Matt


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 11

Smij - Formerly Jimster

>> Douglas and his family were neighbours with John Cleese in Santa Barbara,<<


Try: 'While living in Santa Barbara, Douglas and his family were neighbours of John Cleese'.

We dont link to Researcher's pages unless they're contributors, so it's best not to link to John's PS. We can make an exception for DNA though, I suppose, but you'll need to work that in as a reference rather than in the body of the text (the first line will be removed when this gets updated, after all).


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 12

Demon Drawer

Jimster the link on the entry links to the entry on John Cleese not his personal space. I didn't realise John was a researcher. Now you got me interested. smiley - winkeye


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 13

U168592

Cheers Jim smiley - smiley

The U-page is already in the text, the Update section only links to the Original Entry. smiley - ok


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 14

U168592

Have done a little more, and changed the picture as it was just a copy of the same pic used on the h2g2 Vision Entry. smiley - smiley


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 15

U168592

Oh, and DD, Jim meant John Lloyd, not John Cleese... smiley - ok


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 16

U168592

Is the picture that I've selected to use for this Entry ok? Not sure regarding copyright. But I thought it was fair game seeing as it is a Blob...


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 17

Cyzaki

You can't choose a picture for the entry - if the editors deem it worthy they will commission a picture for it.

smiley - panda


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 18

U168592

Cy, this is the Update Forum...not Peer Review.


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 19

Gnomon [194] gone to Greece - back in 2 weeks

I must admit that I prefer B1092 to B360093. I think he looks rather grubby in the black and white version.

I don't think there is any problem with copyright, as all the pictures in the library can be used anywhere on h2g2.


A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update

Post 20

U168592

I found B1184 (which I think is a smaller version of B1092 G). I had that initially but thought it was a bit 'shadowy'. Not sure now smiley - erm

I like B360093 because it he has that impish grin, and I think Black and White lends a touch of class. smiley - winkeye

I've changed it to B1184 though as it's more colourful and the background is more...Guideish...


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