Conversation:

Another thing to consider is: how important is sexuality for someone? I for myself am adicted by sex, but there are quite a few who don't care, who think driving a Porsche or having social stability is better for them.

That's true. I think I'll add that scale into my entry, if you don't mind.

For me, it varies depending on my situation. When happy in my relationship(s) or happily on my own (as now), I can enjoy sex a great deal. When I'm in situation where a relationship has gone sour or my self esteem is very low, sex can seem relatively unimportant.

So you are quite like me. Self esteem is very important and can give a real boost to your (sex-)life.

I think that real sex adicts like me, provided the self esteem is high due to a caring and loving partner, keep demanding ever more sex, even if they have plenty of it, changing their whole life into a big playground.

So the big problem of the scale is how to create an absolute measurement not based on individual (mis-)judgements.

I would suggest three scales, depending on the situation:

1. Importance of Sex with a would-be partner

2. Importance of Sex with a long-time secure partner (spouse)

3. Importance of Sex with a lover (while having a long-time secure partner at the same time)


When assigning numbers (1=low 9=high, the three scales seperated by ,) to some people I've met, it looks like that:


(6,1,7) I call it cheating
(4,7,1) Dependable and honest
(9,9,9) Me (only a joke?)

Perhaps you need another scale

4) Importance of sex with yourself.

That's the only one I rate on right now, but I'd hate to see it discounted.

Wow, yeah, your right! And it's the most important one!!!

Here is my scale:

1 never
2 once a year
3 once a month
4 once a week
5 three times a week
6 every two days
7 once a day
8 twice a day
9 every two hours


So that makes me a 7, and a 9 when I was very much younger.