The Virtual Doughnut Blues
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
In keeping with the doughnut phenomenon which inhabits this little corner of H2G2 and inspired by Demon Drawer BluesSlider entertainment Inc. is proud to publish The Virtual Doughnut Blues.
The Virtual Doughnut Blues
Doughnut stall self service
And noone seem to be around
Microwave seems broken
And there's sugar on the ground
I'm getting hungry
I've got them Virtual Doughnut blues
That doughnut stall keeps movin'
Its so hard to track down,
My link just keeps a changing,
It really makes me frown,
Can't find my doughnuts,
I've got them Virtual Doughnut blues
Thought I'd help out Joanna
Give the S30 a name
But to avoid another cursing
Won't mention it again
It's the Doughnut unmentioned
I've got those Virtual Doughnut Blues
I woke up late this morning,
I'd had quite a snooze.
Joanna gave me an IWA,
How could I refuse?
What a perfect cure,
For those Virtual Doughnut blues.
I've spoken to Joanna,
We've debated hard and long,
Yet no matter how I tell her,
She keeps spelling "Doughnut" wrong.
I think I'll hit the bottle,
I've got the Virtual Doughnut Blues again.
I got to w*** this mornin',
I had no time to call,
An in-box full of e-mails,
Just kept me from the stall,
Didn't get my breakfast doughnut,
I've got the Virtual Doughnut Blues again.
I ordered a Doughnut
Never got to enjoy it in peace
Got pushed off the keyboard
My father didn't heed my pleas
Let me eat my Donut
Or I'll get those Virtual Doughnut blues
Wandered in this morning
Joanna's not around
Looked for my breakfast doughnut
but no doughnut could be found
Had to get my own JD
I've got the Virtual Doughnut Blues again.
I got a honey doughnut,
'Cause I love that sweet taste,
Then tried to do some writin'
I had no time to waste,
But now my keyboard's sticky,
I got them Virtual Doughnut Blues again.
The Band
Demon Drawer Original artist, verses 1, 3* and 7
BluesSlider Lyric tweaking, verses 2, 6, 8 and virtual Slide Guitar
Croz Verse 4
Bluebottle of the variable extensions Verse 5
Blind Orange Ormondroyd Verse 9
Verses marked * have been tweaked completely without the original author's permission. See the conversation below for the original verse.
Also in the Virtual Blues Collection
The Virtual Blues
The Virtual Blues II
The Microsoft Blues
The Spilled Beer Blues