How to be a dance puppy, or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bass.

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This entry is designed as a starting place for those of you who are interested in, or suspect you might be interested in, Dance Music.

For some people, the term Dance Music has bad connotations. Many people think that dance music is synonymous with raves, and thus with endless drugs and blood on the dancefloor. This is not true.

Other people get highly irritated with the bass thumping through from their neighbours walls, and think that all dance music should be banned. This, too, is not true.

This researcher is not someone who is a dance puppy, although he does enjoy the occasional spot of clubbing. He does not like the type of bass which comes through your walls at 3am on a friday morning (Commonly known as 'Oonst', as an onomatapaeic name.) He does not do drugs. He also does not wear day-glo orange, or fleurescent pink headbands.

However, this researcher does like bass. He prefers the ambient rumble of a slow explosion than any other type, and it should be pointed out that his home stereo is set up so as to minimise the inconvenience to his neighbours. He also doesn't play music loudly after about 9pm1

Below is a list of music which should be purchased by anyone who is willing to give dance music a go; it's currently a highly personalised list, so there are likely to be omissions which your average dance puppy would spit tacks about. Bear in mind this researcher's favourite genre is Industrial, so go easy, okay?

'Must Have' Music:

Prodigy

  • Music for the jilted generation
  • the Fat of the land

Music for the jilted generation is the absolute must have album, for anyone who enjoys bass even a little. Not that it's full of explosions and phatt drops and nothing else; quite the opposite. It has rhythm. It has style. If this album were any cooler it would be driving a BrittenV1000.

Experience, however, is Prodigy's first album, and it shows. Not that it's crap, but they were still having fun with drum and bass, at that point. Thus the bass is a lot more 'Oonst'y, and the rhythms are a lot more basic.

The Fat of the land is their third album, and although it's still really good, it delves a lot more into both vocalisation and industrial style dance. Definitely still worth a listen.

Crystal Method

  • Vegas
  • Tweekend

Filter and Crystal Method got together for a fantastic rendition of Crystal Method's original Trip like I do, for the motion picture 'Spawn'. Although that single was admittedly fantastic, it was however lacking the original intro which, even if had been badly done - which it wasn't - it still would have been extra cool for having utilised the narrated quote from the introduction of the motion picture The Dark Crystal, created by Jim Henson. So the original version of this single - track one on Vegas - was slightly better, even though it doesn't have Filter's lyrics.

Tweekend is their second album, and is every bit as fantastic as their first, with the slight exception of the track Over the line, which is boring. However, the track Name of the game was used in its entirety for the major fight scene during the motion picture Blade 2. So that makes up for it.

If anybody can lend this researcher a copy of either Crystal Method's 'Legion of Boom' or 'Community service', please let him know, as he hasn't actually heard either of them yet.

Leftfield

  • Leftism
  • Rhythm and stealth

There was a magazine - one of the most popular in the dance/rave genre, although I can't remember which one - which printed a relatively objective list of the top ten dance concerts of the decade. The combined concert with Fatboy Slim and Leftfield playing at the same time, at Brighton Pier I think it was, was rated to be the coolest and best concert. Having heard Fatboy Slim live (see below) I can definitely imagine this to be true.

Leftfield's first album was genre-redefining - something which doesn't happen very often, obviously - and Leftism is still a favourite of many. It's more ambient than most music, meaning it's more mellow and slower to metamorphose. However this is not a bad thing; the singles Original and Open up were both popular sellers, and the track Afro-ride - itself a remix of Afro-left, and available on the bonus disc - was used for the playstation game Wipeout2097.

Their second album, Rhythm and Stealth, varies between mellow and rocking with the same expert touch with which Leftfield use their pitch-shift and cross-fade controls. Their single Afrika Shox also made a popular single, although the single Swords had a mighty strange music video made for it...

Pitch Black

  • Futureproof
  • Electronomicon

Pitch Black started out being two fantastic individual artists in their own right, who then joined for a concert and ended up working so well together, and being so popular, that they stayed that way. Their ability to bounce off each other's ideas, styles and soundbytes is just incredible, and really should be experienced to be believed - preferrably live, although their recorded albums are almost as good. They have a habit of knowing how and when to drop their bass perfectly, especially in a crowd. During a multi-artist concert
known as the Big Day Out (Melbourne showing), they had what they describe as being "the best set we could imagine"; during one particular song the audience was following the music to its inevitabley near-orgasmic climax, when all the lights went out and all the samples stopped.2 The crowd of roughly 50,000 went absolutely monkey with euphoria.

Twenty minutes later, the fuse was replaced and a highly-embarrased Pitch Black were allowed to continue.

If your musical tendancies run towards drum 'n' bass then Electronomicon is the album for you, or else if you prefer ambient deep house then buy Futureproof. Either way you should buy them both, and make sure that Futureproof is the double-album version, with a second disc full of fantastic remixes and obscure versions. By way of example, the remix of Soliton has been used by this researcher to damage a house.3

For a vague idea of what their bass sounds like, imagine listening to a nice little tappy rhythm, perhaps sombody energetically playing african drums, and then in time with it make the sound 'BeeeeooooOOOO' out loud. Do it again, but dropping the pitch as you say it (leaving the 'Beee' part at the same pitch). Now do it again but drop the pitch further again. If it helps, try rattling your head like a dog attacking a squeaky toy, as you reach the 'ooOOOO' part.

That's the sort of sound that your speakers make roughly once every twenty seconds during the intro of Soliton. And if you have subs attached, then your nearest body parts will vibrate in the same way.

This researcher is very much looking forward to their next album release, in October. If anybody is willing to loan him a preview copy, please let him know.

Massive attack

  • Mezzanine

Massive attack decided that they wanted their music to be nice background music. When it's played at low volume. When it's played loudly, however, they wanted it to rock. And they suceeded spectacularly. If anybody knows of any other artist or band who creates music with the same effect, please let this researcher know.

The album Mezzanine is fantastically powerful, yet nicely relaxing at the same time, and it too really needs to be experienced to be understood. Their other albums are also great, but Mezzanine was the pinnacle and therefore the 'must have' choice.

For a taste of their style: during one of the early scenes of the motion picture the Matrix, Neo is asleep in front of his computer. The music coming through his headphones is the single Dissolved girl - track 6 from Mezzanine - and know ye that that single has been heard in dance halls, albeit much louder (and therefore more 'active').

The music video for the single Teardrop is also quite famous, not only for its masterful use of CG4, but also because the image of a singing foetus fits the style of the song so perfectly.

'Must Hear' Music:

Fatboy Slim

  • Halfway between the gutter and the stars

This researcher doesn't actually like Fatboy Slim's music a heck of a lot; he finds it repetitive and boring and 'Oonst'y, and keeps having to check whether the CD is skipping whenever he plays it.

Having said that, though, he happened to catch Fatboy Slim during a multi-artist concert once, and has decided that the guy can play fantastic music, as long as it's live. It was, quite simply, the best live dance set he has ever heard, which is surprising given that Fatboy Slim thus edged out Underworld, Chemical brothers, Pitch Black, Concord Dawn, Salmonella Dub and Kraftwerk. What really made it special was a particular track which was a combination of three singles, two of which can be found on Prodigy's album Experience. This guy really knows how to read a crowd, and please them.

If you ever have the chance to see him live, don't miss it.

Underworld

  • Beaucoup fish

The masters of the buildup and the phatt drop, underworld are the prime choice for anyone looking to add whoosh to a party by legal means. Even if you know nothing about them, or about dance music in general, this album is a must hear. If you can only afford a single for now, then the track Born Slippy is the classic teaser.

This researcher has been lucky enough to see them live, so although they're not quite as good as the Fatboy Slim set, he's certainly a large fan5 and would happily pay lots of money to see them again... if he had lots of money.

If anybody has quite a lot of money they would like to give to this researcher, please let him know.

Apollo four fourty

  • Electro glide in blue
  • Gettin' high on your own supply

Apollo four fourty are the original dub masters, and are also very talented in a range of styles. Good examples from their album Gettin' high on your own supply include their single Lost in Space, which was written for the movie of the same name, and the single Heart go Boom was very popular too. The track the Machine in the Ghost is quite ambient, yet two tracks later leap into yobbish rock style, with the track Stadium Parking Lot.

Their earlier album Electro glide in blue is similarly eclectic; from the ambient dub Altamont Superhighway revisited, to the single Carrera Rapida - used as the theme tune to the Playstation game Rapid Racer. Again their diversity shows through with the nicely syncopated Krupa comparing against the concert-rock-almost-grunge Tears of the gods. However dispite the differences, all their tracks are wonderful and utilise bass to powerful effect.

If anybody is willing to loan this researcher a copy of Millenium Fever, by Apollo Four fourty, please let him know.

Chemical Brothers

  • Surrender
  • Chemical beats

This researcher is, like Fatboy Slim, not one of the biggest fans of the Chemical Brothers. Also like Fatboy Slim, he has seen them live in concert. Unlike Fatboy Slim, however, the Chemical Brothers seem to have had too many chemicals and not enough brothers. They were still pretty good, but like their recorded music they tended to get a bit too repetitive and boring. Still worth a listen though.

Juno Reactor

  • Bible of dreams
  • Shango

The only reason Juno Reactor aren't listed in the 'must have' section of this entry is because this researcher can't get hold of enough of them to form a reliable opinion. What he /has/ heard however, he greatly likes. Juno Reactor tend towards a more tribal style of music, as evidenced by the track Conga Fury - featured on the Mortal Kombat Annihilation motion picture soundtrack - and also by the track God is god. Also of note is the fantastic track Pistolero, which is now the theme tune for the motion picture Once upon a time in Mexico.

If anybody has any Juno Reactor music they would be willing to loan this researcher, in any way shape or form, please let him know and he will probably kiss you until he passes out from forgetting to breathe.

'Should Hear' Music:

Orbital

These guys tend towards the industrial, and have made excellent use of some of the most random samples, such as static, to great effect. Have featured in a couple of Playstation games, including Wipeout2097.

Propellorheads

  • Decksandrumsandrockandroll

The Propellorheads like to keep their audience amused6, sometimes in a similar way to Regurgitator7. Their forte is sample mixing, and tend to include voices mixed in with their music to keep it active. The main samples of the track 360 Degrees (Oh Yeah) is the sound of a skateboard on a ramp. The track on Her majesty's secret service is a nod to the James Bond theme tune, and a remake of the track Spybreak! is featured on the Matrix soundtrack. In all, this is a very versatile and professional band, and well worth a listen if you're at all interested in drum and bass, or dub in any way.

Honorable mentions:

the Future Sound of London

Mentioned here mainly because of one single - Landmass, available on the Wipeout2097 soundtrack - which is still the only song this researcher's subs have ever complained about.

Jacknife Lee

This guy is quite funny, and groovy as well. Definitely worth listening to, if you can find any.

Salmonella Dub

Well worth seeing live if you get the chance. Their song Kaikoura Rim featured in the motion picture Whale Rider.

Portishead

Okay so it's a completely different genre, but Portishead are cool. And they know how to use their bass to great effect too, so it's appropriate to add them here.

Fluke

Similar to Orbital or the Future Sound of London, and their single Atom Bomb was quite popular too; to the point of also being included in the Wipeout2097 soundtrack.

Josh Abrahams

This guy has done quite a lot of good quality work, and examples include the sound mixing for the motion picture Moulin Rouge, and also the single Addicted to Bass, with Amiel Daemion.

Moby

Well this researcher can see why Moby's popular, but he doesn't share that enthusiasm. Moby did, however, come up with the single Flower, which featured during the intro of the motion picture Gone in 60 Seconds.

Robert Miles

Mentioned here for completeness; Robert Miles was the original house musician, almost back in the days when Kraftwork were still attempting this 'techno' thing. Well maybe not that long ago, but he's still an original legend of the genre. His most famous single is the one titled Children, although it's hard to find it amongst all its remixes these days.

Sash!

Also should be mentioned in any list of dance music, although her style is exactly the type which annoys this researcher the most. The singles Equador and Adelante weren't too bad, however.

Velvet Acid Christ

Velvet Acid Christ would be this researcher's favourite band, if every track they produced was as good as Slut. Unfortunately, Slut is their only decent song to date, and the rest are only mediocre. If anybody wishes to dispute this, please inform this researcher of any other decent tracks and he will love you long time.

Yello

This band wouldn't really be in this list if it weren't for the album Pocket Universe, which is the best example of dark techno, ever. This is even more surprising because it's not even close to Yello's previous seemingly preferred genre. If you're the kind of person for whom bass relaxes your stress, this particular doctor recommends you play this album, stick your head between your front -left and -right speakers, and crank both the bass and the volume knobs as loud as you can stand.

Bomfunk MCs

Pretty good band, although not a shining example of the perfect dance music this entry intends to highlight.

Conclusion

There are many bands out there who specialise in the dance genre; these are are a few of those that are subjectively the best.

If anybody has any recommendations for this researcher, please let him know.

If anybody would be willing to loan music to this researcher, please let him know.

If anybody is on the brink of bludgeoning this researcher to death with his own speakers for talking about himself in the third person all the time, please let him Gargh!

1Except when he accidentally bumps the volume knob; but never on purpose, is the point.2Usually when a band 'drops' their bass they will simply stop playing the bass at a climactic point, only to bring it back again a few beats later for even greater musical impact.3The subs were large... the nails in the ceiling were coming loose... he only just managed to work out what the extra little buzzing sound was, soon enough to save his room from collapse.4Computer Graphics5Although not as much of a fan as his friend who was standing next to him in the concert, with the biggest grin you can imagine.6"As a matter of fact I swallowed one of these about two hours ago... and the explanation is that it is in fact, my hand."7"I like repetitive music! I like repetitive music! I like repetitive music! I like repetitive music! ..."

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