Doctor, Doctor Jokes

3 Conversations


Back to So Long, And Thanks For Laughing

Doctor Doctor Jokes



Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm going blind! smiley - doctor

This is the butcher's shop, Sir.


Doctor, Doctor, I keep hearing music!

Take the band off your hat.


Doctor, Doctor, why do I keep hearing numbers instead of words?

Must be something you 8.


Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a golf club!

Get a grip on yourself!


Doctor, Doctor, I can't wait to go into hospital!

Just be patient, madam.


Doctor, Doctor, if you don't do something for these spots now, I'll...

Now, now, Sir, don't do something rash...


DOCTOR, DOCTOR! I THINK I'M A HI-FI!

Well, you're certainly a loud speaker...


Doctor, Doctor, I keep dreaming about horses!

Are they nightmares?


Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a tree.

You must be pining for something.


Doctor, Doctor, will I be able to do the cha-cha after the operation?

No, you'll have to wait until you go home.


Doctor, Doctor, how can I avoid falling hair?

Step out of the way.


Doctor, Doctor, nobody takes me seriously.

That's the funniest thing I've heard in years!


Doctor, Doctor, how do I avoid that run-down feeling?

Look both ways before crossing the road.


Doctor, Doctor, would you give me something for my feet?

I wouldn't take them as a gift!


Doctor, Doctor, I think I need glasses!

I could tell the moment you walked through the window.


Doctor, Doctor, could you help me out?

Certainly, which way did you come in?


Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a dog!

Sit down and tell me all about it.

I can't! I'm not allowed on the furniture.


Doctor, Doctor, what's the best cure for acid indigestion?

Stop drinking acid.


Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm invisible.

Who said that?!?!?


Doctor, Doctor, everyone ignores me.

Next!


Doctor, Doctor, my boy has swallowed my pen! What shall I do??!

Use a pencil until I get there.


Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.

Sit down and I'll deal with you later.


Doctor, Doctor, I keep stealing things!

Have you taken anything for it?


Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a cricket bat.

How's that?

Oh, don't you start!


Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a goat.

Have you been feeling this way long?

Ever since I was a kid.


Doctor, Doctor, everyone thinks I'm a liar.

Come, now, I don't believe that.


Doctor, Doctor, come quick! My husband's broken his leg!

But I'm a doctor of music!

That's okay, it was the piano that fell on him.


Doctor, Doctor, I keep losing my memory.

When did this start to happen?

When did what start to happen?


Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep!

Lie on the end of the bed and you'll soon drop off.


Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a kettle.

The Doctor's out at the moment. Pour yourself over these magazines until he returns.


Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a curtain.

Pull yourself together, man!


Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a lightbulb!

Whatever turns you on...


Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a fish!
smiley - nurseThere's nothing wrong with you - go back to school.


So Long, And Thanks For Laughing

Bookmark on your Personal Space


Entry

A310014

Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


Written and Edited by

Disclaimer

h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more