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"What is man, when you come to think upon him, but a minutely set, ingenious machine for turning with infininite artfulness, the red wine of Shiraz into urine?"
Isak Dineson, Danish author (1885-1962)
I had this one in my head. I collect dictionaries of quotations, especially dictionaries of humourous quotations. I stuck some keywords into Google to find the author and the exact wording, and tracked this down on a list of food quotes.
"Religions die when they are proved to be true. Science is the record of dead religions." Oscar WildeI knew this one too. It's from the Preface to The Picture of Dorian Grey. I can't remember now whether I googled it to confirm the wording. I don't think I bothered.
This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou cans't not be false to any man"

—Polonius, Hamlet.
To thine own self be true. Thou cans't not then be false to any man. was how I remembered this. But Google told me otherwise.
"Who knows most, doubts most." Robert BrowningGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not, is a slave." William DrummondGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday" Alexander Pope (1688-1744)Collins Quotation Finder.
"The worst sores in life are caused by crumpled rose leaves, and not by thorns." Stanley J. Weyman"I remember hearing Marshal Bassompierre, who, of all the men within my knowledge, had the widest experience, say that not dangers but discomforts prove a man and show what he is; and that the worst sores in life are caused by crumpled rose leaves, and not by thorns." Stanley J. Weyman, Under the Red Robe.
You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself

Any direction you choose.


Dr Seuss (1904-91)
We Are What We Think, by James Geary.
"In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart." Anne FrankDictionary of Quotations.
"We will be a better country when each religious group can trust its members to obey the dictates of their own religious faith without assistance from the legal structure of the country." Margaret Mead (1901-1978)Goodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism reference the line to Margaret Mead (1901-1978), American anthropologist, Redbook magazine, February, 1963, from Albert J. Menendez and Edd Doerr, The Great Quotations on Religious Freedom.
"Il est dans la tolérance un degré qui confine à l'injure." Jean Rostand (1894-1977)

(There is a degree of tolerance which borders on insult.)
Collins Quotation Finder.
"So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence." Bertrand RussellGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"Men rarely (if ever) dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child." Robert HeinleinGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism reference the line to the book Time Enough for Love.
"The Church says that the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church." Ferdinand MagellanGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"The God of hell should be held in loathing, contempt and scorn. A god who threatens eternal pain should be hated, not loved; cursed, not worshipped. A heaven presided over by such a god must be below the meanest hell." Robert G. IngersollGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism attributes this to Robert G. Ingersoll (1833-1899) American politician.
"The Bible tells us to be like God, and then on page after page it describes God as a mass murderer. This may be the single most important key to the political behavior of Western Civilization." Robert A. WilsonGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism attributes this to Robert A. Wilson (1932- ).
Life is mostly froth & bubble.

Two things stand like stone:

Kindness in another's trouble,

And courage in your own.
I found this on a scrap of paper in one of my pockets. I didn't recognise the handwriting. I found twenty euro in the other pocket, so I'll not complain.
"You will notice that in all disputes between Christians since the birth of the Church, Rome has always favored the doctrine which most completely subjugated the human mind and annihilated reason." VoltaireGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"This crime called blasphemy was invented by priests for the purpose of defending doctrines not able to take care of themselves." Robert G. IngersollGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"Look thy last on all things lovely every hour." Walter de la Mare.Picked out in Elanor Graham's introduction to his selected poems. Puffin Books, 1962.
"Facts provide no norm for judging the morality of human acts." The Vatican Declaration on Sexual EthicsThe Vatican Declaration on Sexual Ethics appears as a chapter in The Moral Life, by Lewis P. Pojman3.
"The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to try to make others so." Robert G. IngersollGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism attributes this to Robert G. Ingersoll, in his speech "The Limitations of Toleration".
"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science." Charles Darwin.Goodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"Creationists, for example, believe that everything Genesis says is literally true; we don't even think Phil Collins is a very good drummer." Jimmy Carr & Lucy GreevesThe Naked Jape, by Jimmy Carr & Lucy Greeves.
"The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore." H.L. MenckenGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism attributes this to H. L. Mencken, (Minority Report, 1956).
"Look, how about this? Let's pretend we've had the row and I've won. See? It saves a lot of effort." Terry PratchettMort.
"Those who get instructions directly from the Almighty are twice blessed. They get their orders from the Highest Authority, and the orders are always to do what they would have done anyway." Harley SorensenGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism attributes this to Harley Sorensen, SF Gate.
"Evolution does not require the nonexistence of God, it merely allows for it. That alone is enough to evoke condemnation from those who fear the nonexistence of God more than they fear God Himself." Keith DoyleA32498751
"The division between faith and reason is a half-measure, till it is frankly admitted that faith has to do with fiction, and reason with fact." Sir Leslie StephenGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism attributes this to Sir Leslie Stephen, Essays on Freethinking and Plainspeaking.
"I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting. But it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously." Douglas AdamsA254477
"The test of a good religion is whether you can joke about it." G. K. ChestersonGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"Labelling somebody 'PC' is a snide attack on what is essentially good behaviour: primarily, calling people by the names they choose." 'Recumbentman'British English — the sequel
"Religion began when the first scoundrel met the first fool." VoltaireGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"Men build too many walls and not enough bridges." Isaac NewtonWordsmith: A.Word.A.Day: 8 October 2008: hey rube.
"Blasphemy? No, it is not blasphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy; if He is as little as that, He is beneath it." Mark TwainGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"There's a time for thumping people and a time for eating almonds! That's good manners!" René GoscinnyAsterix and Cleopatra, by Goscinny and Uderzo (text by René Goscinny, drawings by Albert Uderzo). Translated by Anthea Bell and Derek Hockridge.
"If God wants us to do a thing, he should make his wishes sufficiently clear. Sensible people will wait till he has done this before paying much attention to him." Samuel ButlerGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"If it yours by birth, you have earned it." Diane SellnerCARM Forums4
"Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand." Mark TwainGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"In doubt a man of worth will trust to his own wisdom." J.R.R. TolkienThe Two Towers, The Lord of the Rings. Book Three, Chapter VI, "The King of the Golden Hall".
"A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes." James FeiblemanGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"The man who is always waving the flag usually waives what it stands for." Laurence J. PeterWordsmith: A.Word.A.Day: 7 November 2008: chez.
"Sometimes, late at night, I like to wash my socks in Soda Water so my feet will fizz. Will you be my friend?" 'basselope'Where are our researchers from?
"It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument." William G. McAdooGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"Civilization is the encouragement of differences." Mohandas Karamchand GandhiWordsmith: A.Word.A.Day: 25 November 2008: sobeit.
"When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know." Mark TwainGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"Who overcomes by force hath overcome but half his foe." John MiltonWordsmith: A.Word.A.Day: 12 December 2008: pollard.
"A four-year-old is no more a Christian than he is a member of the postal workers union." Marcus BridgstockThe Now Show, BBC Radio 4
"I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if he didn't." Jules RenardWordsmith: A.Word.A.Day: 14 November 2008: rollick.
"If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him." Mark TwainGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"There is no more irritating fellow than the man who tries to settle an argument about communism, or justice, or liberty, by quoting from Webster." Mortimer J. AdlerWordsmith: AWAD Mail issue 339, 28 December 2008 attributes this to Mortimer J. Adler, philosopher, educator, and author (1902-2001)
"Why have a 'Department of Homeland Security'? Because the 'Department of Defense' is already fully occupied invading other countries. George Orwell, come on down." 'Giford'
Reading/Read 'The God Delusion' by Richard Dawkins?
"The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example." Mark TwainGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest." Denis DiderotGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism attributes this to Denis Diderot (1713-1784).
I have been young, and now am not too old;

And I have seen the righteous forsaken,

His health, his honour, and his quality taken.

This is not what we were formerly told.


Edmund Blunden
Popular Quotations A-Z, edited by Brian O'Kill attributes this to Edmund Blunden (1896-1974) English poet, Report on Experience
"We would be 1,500 years ahead if it hadn't been for the church dragging science back by its coattails and burning our best minds at the stake." Catherine FahringerGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism attributes this to Denis Diderot (1713-1784).
"If one of us challenges their beliefs and the other doesn't, which of us is more likely to end up holding false beliefs?" 'Giford'Jesus is coming back. Get ready.
"Craft maun hae claes, but truth goes naked." Scots proverbCollins Quotation Finder.

At this point, having been banned from the only interesting board at CARM, I gave up. Later, at the invitation of a friend I'd made there, I joined another Christian discussion board. I do enjoy being contrary.

Former signatures at Walter Martin Ministries
"Religions are like glow-worms. They need darkness in order to shine." Arthur SchopenhauerGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism attributes this to Arthur Schopenhauer, philosopher.
"The church has always been willing to swap off treasures in heaven for cash down." Robert G. IngersollGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"When a religion is good, I conceive it will support itself; and when it does not support itself, and God does not take care to support it so that its professors are obliged to call for help of the civil power, 'tis a sign, I apprehend, of its being a bad one." Benjamin FranklinGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism attributes this to Benjamin Franklin, letter to Richard Price, October 9, 1790.
"All great religions, in order to escape absurdity, have to admit a dilution of agnosticism. It is only the savage, whether of the African bush or the American gospel tent, who pretends to know the will and intent of God exactly and completely." H.L. MenckenGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism.
"Human beings trust their intuition more than the demonstrable truth that their intuition is moonshine." Alistair CookeLetter from America, 20th August 1954 "The Court and the Negro"
"Jesus, in fact, was typical of a certain kind of fanatical young idealist: at one moment holding forth with tears in his eyes about the need for universal love; at the next, furiously denouncing the morons, crooks and bigots who do not see eye to eye with him. It is very natural and very human behaviour. But it is not supernatural. Many of the great men in history (for example Socrates and Gandhi) have met criticism with more dignity and restraint." Margaret KnightGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism attributes this to Margaret Knight, Lecturer on Psychology, Aberdeen University.
"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer." Douglas AdamsWordsmith: A.Word.A.Day: 10 September 2009: arcadian.
"It may be that ministers really think that their prayers do good, and it may be that frogs imagine that their croaking brings spring." Robert G. IngersollGoodless Geeks: Quotes About Religion or Atheism attributes this to Robert G. Ingersoll's 1884 publication, Which Way?.
"The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds." Carl SaganWordsmith: A.Word.A.Day: 8 January 2010: discalced.
1The Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry.2The source listed here is not necessarily the ultimate source of the quotation. It's the place where I found it. This is, in some cases, the ultimate source, but more often isn't.3This means this is one of the few lines I read in context and selected myself, instead of finding in a collection of quotations4This is the only quote I've tidied up, the original having rather appalling punctuation: "what they inherit they have earned, if it yours by birth, you have earned it". Diane Sellner is an administrator on the CARM forums.

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