Toilets in Japan

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Should you ever venture out to the land of variable geology, there may well come a time when you can deflect Mo Nature no longer. There are terrors and traumas aplenty associated with using the little room in Japan, however, over an indeterminate period, I will attempt to bring you some of the flavours of Oriental dumpster time. I will cover toilet types such as 'The Squatter', and 'Kirk's Chair'. For now though, let me tell about 'otohime'. Otohime was actually a princess in a children's story, so quite how she came to be spoken of in the same breath as Sir Thomas Crapper, is quite beyond me. However, many ladies toilets in Japan have a device on the wall which emits a gentle watery, flushing sound to hide the more natural sounds created during the average ablute. The embarrassment caused by the gentle tinkling of one of nature's most natural performances, is masked out by an electronic recording of a mighty flush. It was invented by an office worker at a toilet manufacturer, who relialised that the double-flush method of sonic camoflague that was currently in vogue, was terribly wasteful of the world's resources, hence the more ecologically sound, err sound. The idea is not new, in the 17th century, wives of noblemen actually had servants who followed the mistress into the chamber and swished water around a pot while she, you know, did it. Quite what connection this has to Princess Otohime I'm not sure. The childrens' stories are not clear on the restroom behaviour of the heroine. It does make me wonder that if the idea caught on in Europe, what kind of machine-delivered sound would be required to mask the 15 pints of lager and the hottest vindaloo in the shop kind of scenario. On second thoughts, I don't want to wonder about it at all.

Sayonara like. Neil in Tokyo

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