Toes.
Created | Updated Mar 6, 2002
As I was wandering the frozen steppes of my mind this morning, I came across a thought shivering in the icy cognative wind that blows within my skull pre-tea and toast.
Why, ran the thought when it had had a sip of brandy and was closeted, wrapped in a woolen blanket, in a warmer section of my mind, are human beings fitted with toes?
I happened to be in bed at the time, so I wiggled my toes to aid thought. What are they for? Are they purely for babies to suck? Are they for filling the baggy bit at the end of socks? Who knows? I don't.
I seem to remember reading somewhere about an African tribe that only had three toes. I don't know if that was three toes each, three toes per foot or three toes between the lot of them, but in any case, I rather think that the fact is significant to the debate.
Anne Bollyn (spelling?), I think I read somewhere, had six toes. Or was it fingers? I don't know. She had three breasts at any rate. And no head.
I believe, from the reliable source that is the Hollywood motion picture, that witches don't have any toes at all.
All this information is very interesting, but it hasn't exactly thrust us, I think you'll agree, down the road towards any kind of conclusion as to why we are fitted with toes. I rather suspect that we should apply Mr Darwin's theories to the question, and agree amongst ourselves that they are probably leftovers from when we were all monkeys and used them for dangling upside down from trees.
Conclusion: Toes are a present to us from monkeys, but a bit of a half arsed one, since we can't use toes like monkeys do - perhaps they should have given us a toaster.
Why, ran the thought when it had had a sip of brandy and was closeted, wrapped in a woolen blanket, in a warmer section of my mind, are human beings fitted with toes?
I happened to be in bed at the time, so I wiggled my toes to aid thought. What are they for? Are they purely for babies to suck? Are they for filling the baggy bit at the end of socks? Who knows? I don't.
I seem to remember reading somewhere about an African tribe that only had three toes. I don't know if that was three toes each, three toes per foot or three toes between the lot of them, but in any case, I rather think that the fact is significant to the debate.
Anne Bollyn (spelling?), I think I read somewhere, had six toes. Or was it fingers? I don't know. She had three breasts at any rate. And no head.
I believe, from the reliable source that is the Hollywood motion picture, that witches don't have any toes at all.
All this information is very interesting, but it hasn't exactly thrust us, I think you'll agree, down the road towards any kind of conclusion as to why we are fitted with toes. I rather suspect that we should apply Mr Darwin's theories to the question, and agree amongst ourselves that they are probably leftovers from when we were all monkeys and used them for dangling upside down from trees.
Conclusion: Toes are a present to us from monkeys, but a bit of a half arsed one, since we can't use toes like monkeys do - perhaps they should have given us a toaster.
