The Post Writing Challenge - You've Never Heard of One, But Now You'll Want One
Created | Updated Jun 17, 2011
The authors are responding to the Post Writing Challenge of advertising the un-advertisable. As usual, they paid no attention to the instructions. (So what else is new?)
As usual, the results are gratifying. Rules be darned.
As usual, we repeat the instructions – not because anybody pays attention to them – but just as a general reference.
Write, compose, draw or even film an ad. But – and here's the kicker – it has to be something you can't BUY. Something intangible but necessary, such as peace, math ability, or a decent sense of humour. You may OFFER TO SELL this commodity, but only in an impractical way. Take your payment in smileys, hugs, or guru sweat-equity, whatever.
And now…
Prof Animal Chaos is, as usual, johnny-on-the-Yorkshire-spot with an intriguing ad.
If you can figure out what he's going on about, please let me know. – DG
You've never heard of one, but now you'll want one.
My Lords, Ladies, Gentlemen and those who are not sure of the practice of genetics in modern science. Stand ready to form an orderly queue! As no doubt you'll all want to purchase this brand spanking new revelation that's going to take the world by storm, once it hits the market. BUT! I'm offering you a once in a 24-hour option to purchase one or more, if you qualify, before its official launch and that I have to leave the country immediately after this sale, as a relative has passed away on the tropical isle of Mah'Pennies de Los Riches, in the Pacific Ocean "unless its moved" where the ferry service only runs once a month and it has no airport.
So! On to the product! Through using modern techniques of a clinical engineering and working at a molecular level of achievement of dedicated manipulators. I am now able to pass on to you a massive saving, by buying now! You'll cut out all the middlemen and various countries' value added taxes that governments like to have you pay, therefore vastly cutting the hard earned money you have in your wallet/purse and only having to pay me – a deal of the century is the sentence you could use and you'd be right to use it.
I talk of no other product in the entire world, until the cheap copies start jumping on the bandwagon, another reason why I'm giving you this chance to own an original, along with its own certificate of authenticity. Standing alongside owning an actual Rolex watch and the many rip-off copies you see on market stalls.
Now see the radical new invention to chance the world in which you live, none other than! The Unequilateral Triangle Detector. I now see in your eyes, as you try to understand, let me explain. Every single structure built on this vast planet, has angles of every dimensions, but! If not built in the correct way, the structure becomes unstable and a possible collapse follows. Civil Engineers try to build and more often than not do! Build correctly, nevertheless, accidents can and do happen. NOW! All that is going to be a thing of the past and all down to the Unequilateral Triangle Detector, this unit, powered by 4 AA batteries, or their equivalent, can detect any angle, anywhere and to an accuracy of 0.001 of an inch out of true, within a six-foot radius as a structure is being constructed, This allows the planners, engineers and workforce to make adjustments at critical times, thus! Making a building 100% sturdier and safer than any that came before it.
Now I will astound you a second time! Here's the price! To you good folk standing here, unlike sale bazaars where they shout I'm not asking this, or I'm not asking that, with me! You get the truth first go and that is, for each Unequilateral Triangle Detector, all you need do is, take the sum of £49.99 = $80.63 = €56.71 "correct at time of this sale" out of your wallet or purse and you can own the 8th Wonder of the World. Your neighbour will envy you, as HIS garage or house extension collapses and yours looks perfect from any ANGLE. So friends, come forth and as I have a limited number to sell at this moment in time and you'll not have a chance like this coming every day and don't forget, I give a 100 day fully covered money back guarantee on any defect of your unit.
Don't push each other in the rush and cash only please, as my bank doesn't open over the next 2 days, as it's employee training, so I can't accept cheques or credit cards.
Unequilateral Triangle Detector is here! Line up and purchase one now!
