Where have my feet gone?

I'm fat.


I have always been fat.


But I have made the decision that I will not always be fat.


Actually, I thought I had always been fat but looking back I wasn't a really tubby kid,
and wasn't bad as a teenager either - I just felt bigger than everyone else.
Once I was convinced that I was already fat it was easy to become a bit bigger because
I was already as bad as could be, what is another half stone between friends? The weight
crept on over the years and then when I left uni and got a job that paid well enough for
me to buy whatever I wanted to eat I started expanding rapidly. When that job took me
away from home - living in hotels, eating roomservice food, working long hours and doing
no exercise the weight just piled on. Two final things happened at the same time to send me
to whale-like proportions, I gave up smoking and started using Depo provera, the
injectable contraceptive.


All these factors combined to send me to an artery-bursting 18 stone 7 lb

AAAAAARGH!

I was made redundant and spent some of my payoff on a dream trip to the other side of the world.
That trip opened my eyes to the real state of my body - I couldn't fit in the airline seats properly
and could only do up the seat belt if it was fully extended. I couldn't get my tray table down.
It was uncomfortable and humiliating. I couldn't do some of the things I wanted on the trip because
I was too unfit. Spending time in Hong Kong made me feel gargantuan. After I got home I had the photos
developed.

Oh my god, is that elephant in a swimming costume really ME?

Time to get off my butt...

Crisis point had been reached. The day after I got back from the trip I joined a gym and went to an
exercise class. It was so long since I had done any exercise that I didn't know how my body should feel
so I very timidly spoke to the instructor before the class, telling her that I needed help. She was great!
Throughout the lesson she demonstrated low-impact alternatives to all the moves and really encouraged me.
Afterwards she said I had done well and gave me some pointers about exercising for myself.
I felt good, if tired, and thought that this time I was going to make it happen.


That was the 19th February 2002

The Eat Less Food, Do More Exercise Diet

I have tried every diet under the sun except the obvious one, and that was the only thing left to try.
I recruited my boyfriend to help me and embarked upon a low-fat, reduced calorie diet. It was simple,
and made a lot of use of M&S and Sainsburys diet ready meals - I knew that any food regime had to be
quick, convenient and not require too much forward planning - it had to be as easy as possible!
I also knew from past failures that controlling food alone wasn't going to make any difference
to my shape in the long term. I went to a few more classes to get used to what my body could do
then braved the gym equipment on my own.


I accept that this is not going to be a quick process - itis going to take at least 18 months to
get to my target weight/size. I am in this for the long haul. The table below shows my progress,
I wish I knew how to draw graphs here because that would be more effective, but I'll chart it all here -
the highs, the lows, the endless plateaux.

Wish me luck...

OK, this first 10 weeks went really well - I lost a total of 31 lbs! This dieting lark is easy!

The second 10 weeks have been a lot more difficult, I got stuck for a while there in the middle,
this was when I got ill for a week and couldn't exercise, and then went on holiday for a week. Still,
in spite of that I have lost a further 13 lb.

Things seem to be slowing down but I am still making progress, 6 lbs in this period. It was as much as 10 lb
but for some reason 4 lb went back on. I honestly don't know why - I wasn't doing anything different!
My shape has changed dramaticlly now too, my clothes don't fit any more and I have had to get my work suits altered
so that I don't look too awful. Don't want to spend money on a new wardrobe now though, want to wait
until I get much closer to my final goal.

I can honestly say that this 10 weeks has been awful. I have kept on with the
diet and for a long time nothing happened - I didn't even lose that mysterious 4 lb.
I persisted, although it was difficult to motivate myself through all this, and have been
rewarded with a loss of at least 9lb. I am not as far forward as I wanted to be, but things are moving again. The next 10 week block contains a 2 week holiday and christmas - we shall see what impact that lot has on my waistline - I am dreading it!

Where is all this leading?

I have decided not to set myself a hard and fast target weight to aim for. I'm doing this on my own, and not with any slimming class so there isn't anyone telling me when I should stop. It is a concious decision not to have a final target because I don't know what it should be - there are lots of height/weight charts and they all differ in their recommendations. One said I should be between 8.5 and 9.5 stone - but I doubt this is either achievable or desireable. I think around 11 stone would be sensible so there is still around 3 stone to go, but rather than focussing on the number of pounds I weigh I would rather think about what size/shape I want to be. I want to be able to walk into any high street shop and find something I can try on. This is a difficult concept for women that don't have a weight problem - I have tried to explain before but they reply that they have trouble buying clothes that suit them too. The difference is, to find out if something suits you, you need to be able to get it on your body and done up. Apart from in specialist shops (Evans, Anne Harvey, Elvi) this has not been possible for me for a long time - I long for the day I can try on a top in Next, or a skirt in River Island. I am a realist - I want to be a size 12-14.

And Finally...

So this is where I am now. Still a long way to go, but look how far I have come! I feel
so much better now that I am 4 stones lighter - much fitter and more healthy. Lets hope I can keep
it up so that by next summer I'll be able to walk into any shop I like to buy clothes, and
I can get myself something I have always wanted: a pretty, floaty summer frock.

What a bunch of Losers!

There are lots of other people here that are battling with their weight, here are some links to articles they have written, or their user pages so you can give them the encouragement they need and the praise they deserve.

DIET is a four letter word is a fantastic take on the whole diet thing written by Conceited Little Megapuppy. She is nearly there after losing more than 8 stone - go and give her a big pat on the back!


My Weight Loss Journey is the tale of Tashalls battle. She is doing brilliantly but could do with some encouragement from time to time.


H2G2 Weight Losers is another forum where people have been talking about this topic, is has been a little quiet of late, but maybe we need to wake it up.


How to change the shape of your body and Slimming Pills, a shortcut? are some other articles that might help too.