Prepare to be awed.
Epic Bible Cinema: Answers
These Bible epics spice up our religious holiday seasons, don't they? Or at least, they give us something to chuckle and argue about. Somehow, the great drama of our scriptures fails to translate well to the silver screen.
Or else those yahoos in Hollywood just weren't paying enough attention in Sunday School.
Here are the answers.
| Headline | Film |
- PAUL NEWMAN APOLOGISES PUBLICLY FOR ROLE
- ARCHEOLOGICAL DIG UNCOVERS FILM PROPS
- HOMOEROTIC SUBTEXT DISTURBS ACTOR
- JOAN COLLINS VAMPS DONNY OSMOND
- VICTOR MATURE WRESTLES LION SKIN
- WATCH OUT FOR SODOMITE PATROLS!
- RITA HAYWORTH, SEVEN VEILS
- RICHARD GERE'S MOST EMBARRASSING FILM
- JOAN COLLINS VAMPS AHASUERUS
- JOHN WAYNE KILLS JESUS
| - The Silver Chalice. (He took out a full-page advert.)
- The Ten Commandments (Silent). (Yep, in Southern Carlifornia.)
- Ben Hur. (Gore Vidal, how dare you?)
- Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. (We thought it was epic.)
- Samson and Delilah. (He was afraid of the tame lion.)
- Sodom and Gomorrah. (No comment. Absolutely none.)
- Salome. (The Siren of Jerusalem.)
- King David. (Painful, really.)
- Ester e il re (Esther and the King). (Yes! She did it again!)
- The Greatest Story Ever Told. (Director: More awe. Wayne: Aw, truly this was…')
|
Even if you didn't see some of these films on TV, as Your Editor did, sitting next to a lady with an open Bible in her lap (they never got it right according to my mom), you probably still appreciate these gems. Share the titbits with your friends when they complain about that Exodus movie..
Post Quiz and Oddities ArchiveDmitri Gheorgheni
19.01.15 Front Page
Back Issue Page
