Conversation:

Entry: Human evolution - A1023968
Author: Lost & Found Rhino - U216774

This is my first attempt - comments gratefully received

Some good stuff here , you seem to know the subject (although I don't, so I can't be sure) and a lot of it is nicely explained. But there's an awful lot of unnecessary waffle. I suggest you print it out and go over it with a ruler and pencil crossing out everything that isn't neccessary. The first paragraph is bad, it doesn't encourage the reader to continue. Don't apologise. Just ignore creationists.

There's quite a few entries on evolution already, it would be worthwhile to do a search for these and link to as many as you can to show where your article fits in.

Don't give up! with a bit of editing this will make a great entry.

Point taken, having read through it again there is a lot of waffle. I'll try cutting it down to size. Thanks for having a look over it though.

LR

some waffle cut - I'll have another read of it this evening.

LR

Hello there LR!
Nice, informative (if jargon/Latin filled) entry.
Couple of quibbles, mainly on points of what the editors of h2g2 are looking for (you can find out more about this by going to <./>Writing-Guidelines</.&gt :

1. The pictures that you've put in should be taken out, 'cos the Italics don't like them unless they're the ones that put them in (dunno why that is)

2. To make this more accessible to the layman you might want to trim bits which are unneccessary (I can see this has already been suggested, so keep at it )

3. The footnotes are a bit long. Try working some of them into the entry itself, that way people won't have to keep flicking from the top to the bottom.

Just thought I'd make it clear that I like this entry and the points above are only so you have an easier time in Peer Review (where some can be brutal)
Oberon2001

Neanderthal man is homo neanderthalensis.

Noggin

Thanks for the comments.

Picked up the neander spelling - thanks Noggin

Oberon :- Done the pictures as you suggested, but I'm a little confused by the idea of cutting out the less important bits , whilst at the same time working in the footnotes to the main text. To me the footnotes are less important hence not in the main text to start off with. Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean, could you give an example of how you'd go about it ?

Cheers
Lost Rhino

Maybe you could cut some of the footnotes completely (i.e. the first one which mentions stuff that will be said later anyway!)
Oberon2001