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Entry: Watime Propoganda and the Warner Bros. - A10425728
Author: Susan d'Eath. Ravens are the evil warlords of the animal kingdom - dont quoth me on that - U2562361

i decided to submit this entry because the use of animation for propoganda has always fascinated me. i would appreciate all constructive criticism, and also help with guide ml because i would like to add some shiny pictures but ive no idea how :p

Eh - isn't the title supposed to be 'Wa*r*time...'?

Pictures - you can only use those that are in the h2g2 picture library: A692741

For help with GuideML, try the <./>GuideML-Clinic</.> or A690518

eeek! woops!

In terms of pictures - those get added to some Edited Entries by the Editors, so you shouldn't add any pictures to this if you intend to put it into Peer Review eventually.

Here are some nitpicks to help you improve the Entry:

Remove the first header - the first part of the Entry is the introduction by default.

You should capitalise the names of various characters throughout - 'Porky', 'Snafu', and so forth

For the country, use 'US', not 'us' or 'U.S.'

"the OWI requested that Hollywood incorporate six main themes" - at the moment you seem to have listed only five.

The (dis?)Honorable Private Snafu --> The (dis)Honorable Private Snafu

"serviceman who was invented ... Private Snafu is helped along ... The Snafu cartoons were created" - try not to vary between past and present tense - I'd stick with past tense for this bit.

"straps the duck to an x-ray, finally trapping him, and broadcasts his secret to (which he has swallowed)" --> "straps the duck to an x-ray machine, finally trapping him, and uses the machine to reveal his secret (which he has swallowed)"

You've currently got curly quotation marks (’ ”) in your Entry - for starters, you should use single quotes marks for quotes, and you should replace the curyly ones with ordinary ones (') by retyping them directly in the Edit Guide Entry box (the curly ones are slanted in the Edit Guide Entry view).


Sorry if I seem overcritical - they're all minor points, really - otherwise it's a good piece of work

Alex

Are you still working on this, Thrace?

?

<BB<

As the author has ed, I'd like to propose Flea Market as this has the basis of a promising article.

<BB<

Moved to Flea Market