Become a fan of h2g2
A Country in Europe. Very flat, lots of water. National Pastimes include football, placing fingers in dykes, wearing wooden shoes, and laughing at intoxicated English people.
Key Dutch phrases include "hello, do you speak English?" (must be spoken loudly and slowly.) and "do you know where i can purchase some drugs/sex/tulips/edam?" (delete where applicable)
They have very good trains.