Dalriada - or The Highlands of Scotland. (work in progress)

A Call To ArmsScottish Researchers please submit details about Scotland for inclusion by selecting Discuss - you will get a mention even if it's just part of a 'Scottish Researchers on The Guide' linkGeographySummary : Lumpy and Wet.

• Abriachan, Invernesshire
• The Quiraing, Skye
• Beaches : Isle of Barra and Harris

History It is important to consider the history of Scotland, in order to understand why this article only focuses on the one section of it. Scotland used to be split into three distinct areas viz : Caledonia, Alba, and Dalriada. Caledonia is eastern Scotland, Alba referred to lowland Scotland, and Dalriada to Western Scotland.

Dalriada is one of the few areas of Europe never to be subjugated to Roman Rule. Some claim this is because we are too damn hard, but most tend to agree that the Romans couldn't be bothered, as the weather was atrocious, and anyway, the quails eggs where nearly ready. The roman leader uttered the immortal phrase 'Thuck thith for a game of Thenturianth' - he had a serious speech impediment - and they all went away.

Dalriada is the traditional name for the Highlands of Scotland, and is split from the rest of the scotland through the Caledonian Canal which stretches from Inverness in the East to Fort William in the West.

In the 5th Century the "Scots" migrated from their home in Ireland and settled in the West of Scotland. There decision to settle here was based on the following reasons :

• They had travelled a long time to get there.
• The haggis was nearly ready.

After a hearty meal, the Scots decided 'sod it, pass the whiskey (the Irish spelling) and let's have a party. This party has yet to reach the stage where everyone needs to leave, and the upshot of this is that Whiskey has been renamed Whisky, and the Highlanders are quite happy where they are, thankyouverymuch.

One of the major features of the history of the area is known as The Highland Clearances'. This was an event in the past which resulted in many highlanders being forcefully exported to other countries (Australia and Canada in particular) in order to free up more space for sheep to graze. Most of the time the sheep belonged to an English Landlord and led - in the past - to great animosity between the two nations, culminating in The Battle of Culloden (April 14 1746 - a wednesday).

This was the last major land battle fought on UK shores, and is popularly viewed as a battle between English and Scots. This is not strictly true. The battle was fought between 'The Highlanders' and a combination of English and other Scots ('The Lowlanders').

For anyone who is interested, a complete breakdown of the rulers of scotland can be found here, and a breakdown of the most important historical events can be found hereTraditional Highland GarbKilts The garment associated most with tartan is the kilt. In its simple form, this was widely worn by Highland Scots in centuries past, and was also often used as bedding while out in the wilds. It use was varied and it can be viewed as the precursor to the towel. It is worth noting that the kilt was not worn by the Lowland Scots, who formed the majority of the population of the country.

There are actually three types of kilt available for each Scottish clan :

• Modern Colours - most likely to be seen in countries other than scotland, and especially favoured by Americans.

• Ancient, Subdued or Hunting Colours : Worn by true Highlanders.

• Dress Colours : worn by Scottish Regiments, and Englishmen at Hogmanay.

In modern society, kilts are very rarely worn* except when getting married or attending traditional dances.

PoliticsThe Scottish Parliament was elected in 1999, following devolution of powers from the United Kingdom Parliament in London. This is the first time Scotland has had its own parliament in 300 years. The Scottish Parliament, which sits in Edinburgh, is responsible for most aspects of Scottish life. The national parliament in Westminster (London) retains responsibility for areas such as defence, foreign affairs and taxation.

Economy One of the main imports to the area are called Tourists. These can be easily spotted as they will be the only people to be found wearing kilts and shouting 'Och Aye' in a dismal attempt at a Scottish Accent. Alternatively, they can be identified as the only people looking round the local scenery with more than common interest.

One of the main exports of the area are called 'Tourists with Midge Bites'. Midge Bites are not a new form of vegetable spread for toast, but rather little red spots congregating in the nether regions. The Midge (pronounce midgee) is a small fly that hangs around the lochs of the area, feeding off unwary tourists and fishermen.

Further Scottish Links

• Glasgow
• Falkirk, Scotland, UK
• Dalmarnock, Scotland, UK
• Ben Nevis
• The language of the Scots
• OK, Thanks for the Whisky, but what else have you done?
• Burns Night
• Scottish Beers
• The Scottish Anthem
• Poetry Events In Glasgow

With thanks to the following researchers

• Jim Lynn for the article on Glasgow.
• belmar and Jizzik for the article on Scottish Slang
• E Vibenstein for the article on Falkirk
• Wumbeevil for the article on Dalmarnock.
• Munchkin for the article on beer - help him out if you can
• Crescent for the article on Abriachan
• Merkin for the article on The Quiraing
• The Duke of Dunstable for the article on whisky
• Jim Craig for the article on Poetry Events in Glasgow