A Conversation for Urban Legends
Smaug Started conversation May 6, 1999
Check out the web pages for 'Darwin Awards'...given to those who have benefitted Mankind by removing themselves from the gene pool.
You will find several Urban Myths listed there.
kat Posted Jun 27, 1999
Whats the address, i would love to check them out. my teacher used to read some of them to my class and they were really funny
Smaug Posted Jun 27, 1999
Try http://www.officialdarwinawards.com/index.html - enjoy!
Horny Leprachaun Posted Nov 20, 1999
The car-in-the-cliff one is also listed at:
For full details of how it came about (either that or a very good storyteller), check out:
Cybernard Posted Feb 4, 2000
I'll just post one of the funniest story from the Darwin Awards here...
The recent craze for hydrogen beer is at the heart of a
three-way lawsuit between unemployed stockbroker Toshira Otoma, the
Tike-Take karaoke bar, and the Asaka Beer Corporation. Mr. Otoma is suing
the bar and the brewery for selling toxic substances, and is claiming
damages for grievous bodily harm leading to the loss of his job. The bar is
counter-suing for defamation and loss of customers.
The Asaka Beer corporation brews "Suiso" brand beer, in which the carbon
dioxide normally used to add fizz has been replaced by the more
environmentally friendly hydrogen gas. Two side effects of the hydrogen gas
have made the beer extremely popular at karaoke sing-along bars and
First, because hydrogen molecules are lighter than air, sound waves are
transmitted more rapidly, so individuals whose lungs are filled with the
nontoxic gas can speak with an uncharacteristically high voice. Exploiting this
quirk of physics, chic urbanites can now sing soprano parts on karaoke
sing-along machines after consuming a big gulp of Suiso beer.
Second, the flammable nature of hydrogen has also become a selling point,
though it should be noted that Asaka has not acknowledged that this was a
deliberate marketing ploy.
The beer has inspired a new fashion of blowing flames from one's mouth
using a cigarette as an ignition source. Many new karaoke videos feature
singers shooting blue flames in slow motion, while flame contests take place
in pubs everywhere. "Mr. Otoma has no one to blame but himself. If he had
not become drunk and disorderly, none of this would have happened. Our
security guards undergo the most careful screening and training before they
are allowed to deal with customers," said Mr. Takashi Nomura, Manager of
the Tike-Take bar.
"Mr. Otoma drank fifteen bottles of hydrogen beer in order to maximize the
size of the flames he could belch during the contest. He catapulted balls of
fire across the room that Godzilla would be proud of, but this was not enough
to win him first prize since the judgment is made on the quality of the flames
and the singing, and after fifteen bottles of lager he was badly out of tune."
"He took exception to the result and hurled blue fireballs at the judge,
singeing the front of a female judge's hair and entirely removing her
eyebrows and lashes, and ruining the clothes of two nearby customers. None
of these people have returned to my bar. When our security staff approached
Mr. Otoma, he turned his attentions to them, making it almost impossible to
approach him. Our head bouncer had no choice but to hurl himself at Mr.
Otoma's knees, knocking his legs from under him."
"The laws of physics are not to be disobeyed, and the force that propelled
Mr. Otoma's legs backwards also pivoted around his center of gravity and
moved his upper body forward with equal velocity. It was his own fault that he
had his mouth open for the next belch, his own fault that he held a lighted
cigarette in front of it, and his own fault that he swallowed that cigarette."
"The Tike-Take bar takes no responsibility for the subsequent internal
combustion, rupture of his stomach lining, nor the third degree burns to his
esophagus, larynx and sinuses as the exploding gases forced their way out
of his body. Mr. Otoma's consequential muteness and loss of employment
are his own fault."
Mr. Otoma was unavailable for comment.
Penguin Girl - returned at last Posted Feb 4, 2000
That's a good one. I haven't seen new ones in a while. People keep sending me old ones and saying they're new. But I've never seen that before.
Smaug Posted Feb 5, 2000
There are many new Darwins out just now...I think this year's awards have just been announced. As ever, there are several sites claiming to be the Official Original and Genuine - try http://www.pssm.com/darwin.htm for starters.
Lloyd Posted Feb 5, 2000
That's hardly a "Darwin Award" story, is it? The bloke didn't *die* (a crucial aspect of a Darwin Award tale, that and the complete lack of progeny).
It is, however, a most entertaining story.
PB Posted Feb 6, 2000
I've always found www.darwinawards.com to be the best with a rather nice site layout and the lot.
Penguin Girl - returned at last Posted Feb 8, 2000
Perhaps some kind spirited person could compile a list of darwin awards sites?
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