Conversation:

Credit where it's due - the 'Accident Report' is a paraphrased version of a monologue performed by Gerard Hoffnung (see http://www.h2g2.com/A223921 ).

Are you sure he was the first to use it?

There's a version very similar to the one on this page in one of my A-level maths textbooks... the difference being, the version in the textbook ends with the request that you draw a graph showing the motion of the bloke and barrel.

These things are often impossible to trace back to their origins...

Hoffning was almost certainly the author of this one. Things writen as jest often get into the public domain and then into popular belief and then into legend.

The great 50s/60s satarist Tom Lehrer (good article here http://www.h2g2.com/A230086) wrote a satire folk songs. Many years later he saw it in a book of other folk songs, being taken seriously and attributed to the writer Trad.

He left satire after real life over took satire. A lost to humour world wide.

Chris

When the story was first submitted to my collection, it was new to me. A few months later I heard the monologue on the radio, but I had some doubts as to which came first. At any rate, now that it's an official entry, the legal battle is no longer mine to fight.

I first heard the legend called 'French Holiday' in the guise of a horror story told to me by a guy who used to be in my swimming club...Also, has anyone heard the urban legend about a Munchkin who humg himself on-screen during the filming of the classic movie, 'The Wizard Of Oz'?

To avoid confusion about my spelling error, I ment 'hung' and NOT, as I said, 'humg'.

Sure. Wasn't it supposedly a "stork" or something?

Hmmm. As far as I can recall, the Urban Legends FAQ says that this one isn't true.

Anyway, I'm here in my capacity as never-relenting pedant rather than bearer of univeral truth - when you're talking about people, it's 'hanged' not 'hung', or, indeed, 'humg'.

Sorry, had to be said .

Damn, and I call myself a good speller.

You sound like the same sort of person as me.

Do you think we should start a campaign for the elimination of those who say 'less' when they mean 'fewer'?

Good plan. If less people did that, the world would be a better place.

26199

What are you inferring? -- Aaaaggghhh!

Could you learn me some good English?

Would you lend I your dictionary for a few days?

Ta very much!

jd

Hehe

Shouldn't that be 'Would you borrow I...'?

Aye, for real!

That's the trouble I always get when trying to retell some Bristolian English; can't help getting 'lend' and 'borrow' the *right* way round!!!

I was trying to say "Can I lend your dictionary?".

I remember when I first heard "Can I lend your pencil?" at school. I really didn't get it. "Who d'ya wanna lend it to?" I replied. They responded "Huh? No! *I* wanna lend it!". Then it was my turn for the "Huh?".

Learn me English proper. What a great ideal!

jd

In the spirit of the man who, half an hour after losing an argument, will interject "And another thing..." - I am prepared to bet real actual money that Hoffnung was the author of the Barrel tale. He was an inventive and original humourist and had no need to relate old or second-hand tales. Anyone who can write a concerto for double-bass tuna and piccolo can invent anything, in my book

Oh yeah? Well, you can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish.

And you can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.