Finding Old Friends

Ever lost touch with someone special?

You know how it is. You are mates with a great bunch of people at school, and then you change schools or go to college. You still keep in touch by letter or the odd phone call but somehow they seem to just slip away. You hang on to some people but lose touch with others. It isn't intentional but they just disappear. Or you do.

The same story repeats itself as you go through life, leaving college, changing jobs, moving away from home, moving house - all these can cause your connections to get broken. It can be as simple as somebody changing their email address and forgetting to tell you. Then they are uncontactable to all intents and purposes. This is clearly a tragedy.

Finding them again

You hear a song on the radio that reminds you of your long lost pal and you think to yourself 'I wonder what old Bob is doing these days'. How do you go about finding old Bob again?

Here are a few tried and tested methods for looking people up.

Do you know where their parents live?

Write to their folks. Most of the time they should be able to give you the new address or at least pass on your address if they don't remember you. This is a reliable method of finding people providing you have a good memory and their family haven't moved house very much. Not always an option.

Are you still in touch with any mutual friends?

If you still are in loose contact with a mutual friend there is a good chance that they might be in loose contact with your lost chum. Give them a call or drop them a line - it can't hurt to try!

Is there a 'Friends of...' list at your school?

Some schools keep track of old pupils and it may be worth giving them a call to find out. If you were in hall at university together there may be a hall Old Boys society you could sign up to.

Call Directory Inquiries.

This is only an option if you know where the friend lives now, otherwise it could be a very frustrating chat with the operator. If your friend has changed their name (through marriage or whatever) you are never going to find them in this manner. In these days of telesales more and more people are turning ex-directory so this is another possible dead-end.

Hire a private detective!

This is a bit extreme and probably only worth doing if they owe you a lot of money or you really are desperate to talk to them again.

The Internet

The ways to search for somebody over the internet are legion and it may seem a little daunting at first but here are a few you might like to try:

• People Searches. Providers like Yahoo!, Hotmail, Freeserve etc. often provide the ability to search for people that have signed up for their services. As many people have some sort of personal email address this may be a good source of information.
• Friends Reunited. This is a fantastic site for locating people in the UK. It is possible to register yourself and link to your own schools and colleges. You are able to view a list of all the people registered at your schools or search for individual names. It is possible to email people through the site if you pay a small one-off fee of £5 levied to deter spammers and time wasters.
• Email the Postmaster - if you are fairly confident they work for a certain company then you could email postmaster@companyx.com and ask for the correct email address.
• Make up an email address! If you are very confident you know where somebody works then have a go at mailing them directly. With a bit of luck this can work very well if the company has an obvious email address allocation system¹.
• h2g2! Ask around, you never know...

Some final thoughts

Even with all the above advice you should expect mixed results when searching for people, it could be frustrating and ultimately fruitless - but the effort is worth the reward of reconnecting with a soulmate.

A word of warning - is there a reason why you have lost touch that you have forgotten through the haze of nostalgia? Did you offend somebody somehow? Did you steal Old Bob's girlfriend in the mistaken teenage belief that she was The One based on her liking of the same pop band as you, and that Bob would understand this? Old Bob may not be as pleased to hear from you as you think...!

Above all, Good Luck!