A700372 - Bill of Rights Act, 1669 – The glorious revolution
Post 22
Posted Mar 4, 2002
Hi HappyDude,
It's got the makings of a very informative article! On reading the article I found that there are quite a few grammatical errors - here are just a few from the first few sentences.
* Monmouth footnote - no full stop "Lucy Walter he was beheaded". Also the sentence that this footnote appears in is quite a mouthful. Consider splitting it into 2 or 3 separate sentences.
* should "Prorogued" be capitalized?
* "During September the Bloody Assizes occurred these were court sessions" - "occurred. These..."
* "upto 320" - "up to 320"
* had pled - pleaded?
* "James II went on to suspended laws and the execution of laws" - "to suspend, and execute laws..."?
* "breech" refers to your bum. It should be "breach".
The sentence in which it appears is also unwieldy.
I'll stop there (out of time), but I think overall your article could do with a slimming down on some of the sentences (more full stops!) and the detail. You are adding characters to the plot with no indication of who they are, and it might be better to footnote them, or just leave them out altogether. I will try to look at the article again after some of the basic grammatical and structural problems have been addressed.
I hope this helps,
Woodpigeon
A700372 - Bill of Rights Act, 1669 – The glorious revolution
Post 23
Posted Mar 4, 2002
Thanks, a couple of points I can clear up now the rest I’ll take a look at the article and alter where necessary,
*should "Prorogued" be capitalized?
In my opinion yes.
*upto 320" - "up to 320
I believe upto is as acceptable as up to (I no this is a debatable point & I’m not going to debate it now – if this entry is picked the Sub Ed can make a final decision.)
*James II went on to suspended laws and the execution of laws" - "to suspend, and execute laws..."?
Should be “execution”.
A700372 - Bill of Rights Act, 1669 – The glorious revolution
Post 24
Posted Mar 4, 2002
* had pled - pleaded
"pled Scottish English and American English
the past tense and past participle of plead", Longman web Dictionary



