h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm appealing to swl's ego here.

Surely if you're in desperate need of advice, he cannot fail but to dispense some unconventional wisdom in this thread?

I'll start.

How do I get my boss to give me more money for less work?

What should be my reaction to the current top read story on the BBC News website (according to the side panel) - "Celebrity chefs milk price anger"?

I'm thinking something along the lines of 'of course they do'?


Geggs

Waht should I do with the hundreds of CD that I have amassed over the years, most of which I will never play again?

Can I get a front row seat to the Ask Mr D versus Ask Swl deathmatch once Mr D has found out his territory has been invaded...?

They can take turns, like they do on The Chaser.

How can I get my feet to stay warm in July??


I'm totally fed up with my cold feet....

"Waht should I do with the hundreds of CD that I have amassed over the years, most of which I will never play again?" [Beatrice De'Ath]

Some possible solutions:

1. Organize a swap with one or more friends who have lots of CDs, most of which are not in your collection. This give you and your friends new CDs to listen to, at no cost.

2. Take a hint from Leonard Cohen's song "Tower of Song." CDs are extremely tough and durable. Stack one on top of another, they would make sturdy pillars. Perhaps some glue between each of them to keep them from slipping....

3. Punch a hole in each and pass a wire or string through the holes, to create a mobile or set of wind chimes.

4. Keep them. Shuffle them into a random order. Play them again. You'll never know which one is up next, so there will always be an element of surprise.

They'd make great little shields for warrior badgers.




~jwf~

Stick a rod through the center hole and use the CD as a pizza cutter.

Is this a wart?

How do I find a boyfriend?

TRiG.

beans on toast for my dinner. With egg or without egg, o swl, master of the answer.

All of those answers are of course null and void as this is...


Ask swl.....


Whose asking you?

Dear swl

Will you crawl under my car? it appears to be dripping oil...

If it is, what should I do?

Lanzababy

A bit uncomfortable with this because it really should be Mr D doing it - he's funnier and better at it.

Until he takes over,

1) Get promoted
2) Yes, they would wouldn't they
3) http://www.musicmagpie.co.uk/sellit_information.asp
7) Whatever you do with them in June and August, do the same in July.
11) See a Doctor. And wash your hands.
12) Anybody's in particular?
13) With, scrambled.
15) - No
- Store it upside down to stop the drips.

"it really should be Mr D doing it - he's funnier and better at it."

Dear swl,

I used to run quite a successful advice service on this very site, but my last attempt at reviving it quietly disappeared with not so much as a sarky comment from Mu Beta. How can I get myself back in the limelight?

Yours,
Mr. Dreadful

Do not chase your customer, let your customer chase you.

*wonders whether attempting to chase Mr D might be misinterpreted*