Conversation:

Entry: Rhinocerii - A87736251
Author: MMF - Keeper of Mustelids, with added P.M.A. - With added Anorak! - U236774

This is my (belated) entry for the January CREATE challenge. I've tried to make it as interesting and varied as possible, and am happy to include items like Wooly rhinoceros, Duhrer's and Salvadore Dali's Rhinocerii, but did not want to overburden the entry.
Comments and Views, including addendums, additions and deletions welcomed.

MMF

Fascinating entry, well done.

You'll want to go through it and read it out loud to pick up on sentences like:

>>Its horn measures upto 60cm and has a semi=prehensile upper lip, weighing 1,800 to 2,700kg.<<

or:

>>The front horn reaches up to 80cm, and reaches a height of 1.5m, weighing 600-950kg.<<

Apart from that, there are a lot of it's which should be its.

Bel. Appreciate that. Had a very long gestation period. Nearly as long as a rhinoceros itself. Pushed myself this weekend while convalescing, and wanted to get it here so I can tell if it's appropriate and whether more info, polishing etc. is needed. Will look at the points raised.



At least it's one down. Then onto the next!!!

MMF

It's always very hard to spot one's own mistakes. reading it out loud usually helps to find a few things, running it through a spell checker helps with a few others.

Can you remind what the January challenge was?

Is this intended as an update of the existing Rhinos entry?

I agree with Bel - this is a really good read

Suddenly encountering the Leeds and Spearmint varieties made me laugh out loud

I saw a couple of minor wording issues which you'll spot on a careful read.

I suggest you alert Willem to this entry. He may have some additional insight, or even a picture...

Icy

It was one of CREATE's challenges in January to perform an update. The original entry was A285185, which I've now updated, adding more information, and rhinoceroses. There are more I can add, but didn't want to labour the entry.
Also guidelines on what is expected regarding this type of entry would be helpful, asI've been accused of being too scientific with previous, similarly-based themes. I've tried to be concise, clear but light this time around.
As mentioned earlier, Duhrer and Dali could be mentioned, both being famous for rhinoceros in art, and the now extinct wooly rhinoceros.

Bel, hopefully I've amended the errors, as well as some grammatical typos too.



MMF

OK, in that case can you please rename this entry to "UPDATE - Rhinos" as we'll lose track of the fact that it is an update if it doesn't have UPDATE in big letters in the title.

And there's no such word as Rhinocerii. The correct plural is rhinoceroses, (in Latin it would be rhinocerotes), but since that is rather a mouthful, I think we'll stick with Rhinos.

Done. Don't particularly like 'Rhino' as the animal is a rhinoceros, hence the mention of rhinoceros throughout, except where 'Rhino' is necessary e.g. Leeds Rhinos and Peppermint Rhino.

Hope that helps.

MMF

This is interesting and informative.

Personally, I'm not sure if it's wise to include Leeds Rhino or Spearmint Rhino, if only because there are bound to be other sports clubs, and other leisure clubs, which use the name 'rhino'. You could never list them all!

There are a few things that need tweaking.

. You've stated the speed of the rhino running twice.

The sentence beginning 'The white rhinoceros favour thick scrub' is a bit cumbersome and might need splitting.

Bel has mentioned the other points I would make.

Massive amount added, and looks really good, will glance over when i get the chance

And so people can see the amount added here is the original entry

A285185

Leeds and Spearmint were added, for levity and because of their high profile, Leeds because it was the forerunner of adding another part to their name, so they ceased being Leeds Rugby League Club to just be Leeds Rhinos.
Spearmint, by adding Rhino, became the best-known of Adult clubs

If the majority feel they are superfluous I'll remove them.

Most of Bel's points I hope I've corrected. If not, I'll have another peruse on Tuesday.



MMF

this is an amazing amount of research to be added to the original Entry.


As it is quite late and I am not really awake properly, I just wanted to add my thought on the title. Can it not just be

"The Rhinoceros" - I agree with MMF that the title "Rhinos" is lacking somehow. It could be "The Rhinoceros.. (followed by a qualifier)"

ps hope you're feeling better MMF

Lanza, the R&R meant I had time on my hands, and it was almost there so gave me a chance to work on it.

Personally, I'm not happy, as it seems patchy, especially where the Javan and Sumatran Rhinoceros are oncerned.

I also feel Duhrer and possibly Dali should be included, but I'm no Art expert, so if someone could give some guidance I'd appreciate it.

Anyone in Bristol? Would LOVE a photo of the Rhinoceros in the building in front of the Nails. I had one but lost it when I downgraded my OS. Otherwise I'll go there in June for it.

It is worth inclusion. Honest.

MMF

MMF, you might want to ask Willem to use his picture of the Javan rhino -- it is pretty terrific:
A87725226

Robyn Hoode lives in Bristol

The word in your second footnote should be terrain .

Elektragheorgheni
Is this Dmitri?

I was using the original text, believing there was background knowledge, but wasn't happy.
Hope Robyn can get the photo, just to be quirky....


Otherwise I'll ask Willelm.

MMF

No this is not Dmitri, but Elektra.