My dad has a chest wig made of jazz

Should anyone care or indeed notice, I am still alive. Atrociously rude for scarpering all tha time ago. Don't really have an excuse. Hope all's well...

This page, as im sure you are aware, is in rather desperate need of an update. well, im thinking about it. however, im trying to find a new and exciting way of doing a page, rather than the tired old 'who am i, who are my friends, whats my tawdry little niche on h2g2' style. this quest is proving singularly fruitless, so ill leave you with this pointless little paragraph here, and send you on your merry way. arf.

My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love.

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Uncle Heavy [sic]

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