Babbling like a brook on Prozac

Welcome to my little slice paradise in this hurly-burly world of car chases, flashing green men and evil gods of CD packaging.

Normally found sitting on the the nicely shaded swings under satsuma tree are my helpers - Good Intentions (hi!) and Caffeine (Wow, cool!, brews another smiley - coffee). They're often sidetracked by the twins Procrastination (...) and Alcohol (smiley - bubbly, burp) - hence why this page has had nothing but the written equivalent of weeds on it for the last couple of months.

Satsumas and what they mean to you

For those who not familiar with Satsumas, they have nothing to do with porcelain vases from the southern Chinese province of Guangdong. They are, instead, small, mostly orange, incredibly tasty citrus fruits that have mysteriously turned into a Christmas tradition (alongside walnuts and Cliff Richard singles) if only in the UK.

And for those of you who give a monkey's, they originated in Japan, and are commonly confused (see here) with Clementines, Tangerines and Mandarins (all perfectly well-brought up fruit).

However, Satsumas are actually Mandarins. Interesting, but true, and Mandarins are separated into four groups: Satsumas, Mediterranean Mandarins, King Mandarins and Common Mandarins - of which most varieties are Clementines. Anyone still awake should have a look at Sorting Citrus names or the slightly less heavy The Fruit Pages.

If you haven't fallen asleep, please feel free to wander around the glades of trees and comedy gnomes. But remember, a small orange-coloured fruit's not just for Christmas.

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Spaceballer (Guardian of Satsumas and other orange fruit)

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