Foot fetish

1 Whereas people from Blighty are known as Blighters.
2

’This,’ said the Hon. Galahad, ‘is the hour of the day that searches a man out. It makes him examine his soul. And I don’t want to examine my soul, I expect the thing looks like an old boot.’
P.G. Wodehouse - from Heavy Weather

3 The bomb, in fact, missed the house entirely and landed in the garden, the blast blowing the cabbages we grew on the Anderson roof into the road where one broke the neck of Mr Vestibule, the ARP warden. He was only the third victim to veg thus far in the war.
4 Which was carried around in a suitcase. Because of the reaction whenever she opened it, she called it her ’Wow baggage’.
5 Trousers.
6 Stamp collecting, to which Nell replied, ‘Philately will get you nowhere’.
7 One knew she was a Rank starlet because she carried a vast gong in her handbag.
8
...and the desert is so subtle. It, no... I mean if you really delve into how subtle it is: it’s subtle. Too subtle to... ah, I don’t know; it’s hard to pay that much attention.
Don Van Vliet

9 The Lady of Shallots, so called because she likes to get pickled.
10 Old-Chap Stick: ‘Good for friction and wind burns’ as the advert had it.
11 Never apologise for burpage and botty wind. Keep it in if ashamed, let it out with gusto if not and let’s have no more of this shillying shallying, half arsed hypocrisy.
12
I forget who it was that recommended men for their soul’s good to do each day two things they disliked: it was a wise man, and it is a precept that I have followed scrupulously; for every day I have got up and I have gone to bed.
W. Somerset Maugham - from The Moon and Sixpence

13 We named that elephant ‘The Rogue’ after his waxed moustache and way with the lady elephants.
14 Chiz moan grone
15 Art is whatever you claim it is.
16 He was, surprisingly, a great fan of Sumo wrestling: ‘It’s a great craic’ he averred.
17 See other footnotes.
18 I pray to God there’s no afterlife
19 There are only two reasons for exercise: vanity and the prolongitude of bad habits.
20 Dishonourably discharged from the army for breaking into Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy From Company B half way through the Remembrance Sunday last post.
21
Everything in moderation, including moderation.
- from Lost Horizon, dir. Frank Capra, 1937
22 'Don't you love lists?' she asked. But he failed to reply because he was completely listless.

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spimcoot

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