Pinniped

The Old Ones are the Best...

Sophomores of the Planet Zaaark : Class #1004/307/1 (Recreational Hunting)

Good morning, students. I take it that everyone who is going to condense from the atmosphere has already done so? Good. Then please engage your sensory ganglia.

You at the back. Yes, you. Though I am painfully familiar with the Corporal Punishment Policy of this University, you should realise that I am not averse to biting off the odd tentacle from those who are not paying attention.

Thank you.

Welcome to the second year of the Psychodynamics Honours course, and in particular welcome to the Ethnoethics class. We will be seeing each other every milliCycle for the next semester, promptly at 405. Those of you who have bothered to read the syllabus will know that this element of the course is based on the study of a single alien planet. You will progressively research the annals to find out about the primitive civilisation of this planet, and about how our ancestors treated it. At the end of the semester, you will submit your essay about an ethical issue of your choosing.

Those of you who did as you were told during the vacation will already have selected a specimen for abduction. A depressingly small number of you have registered that selection, so the rest of you are about to find out that I’ve picked one for you. I’m afraid you may have missed your chance to abduct an interesting individual. We have to be scrupulously careful, naturally, to limit our experiments to specimens that the subject society won’t really miss.

Everyone has at least read the Experimental Protocols, I take it? Good. So I can choose any one of you at random, and hear a considered and coherent test plan? Let’s see, shall we?

A student calling themselves Nooork. You, is it? Now, don’t be shy, dear. I’d like you to tell us all, in your own thoughts, exactly what you intend to do with the Researcher known as …

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