Conversation:

I'm just going to start a quick journal thread for some of the wit and wisdom I overhear in the office.

From today - while discussing the new Avengers film, and the inevitability that it'll all end up with the Incredible Hulk saving the day before going berserk:

"Ah, you mean the traditional 'Hulk Smash!' narrative contrivance?"

And a classic, from about the time that Christian chap was claiming that the rapture was nigh:

"What's all this bollocks about dinosaurs in the news?"

.603

And, hot on the heels of the Avengers debate is this one about the new "Snow White and the Huntsman" film, starring the non-descript female lead from Twilight as Snow White and Charlize Theron as the Wicked Queen:

"It's ludicrous. I can't suspend my disbelief that much. I can believe a man can fly. I can't believe that her out of Twilight with the facial paralysis is in any way 'fairer' than Charlize Theron."

"You won't like me when I'm angry. That's because I back up my arguement with valid facts from documented sources." ~ The Credible Hulk.

Love it.

"Doesn't Kate McCann look like Cersei Lannister?"

You know in Game of Thrones, the bit past the wall, that's meant to be Scotland, right?

"She's got a tattoo on the small of her back saying "Daddy's Little Girl"

(overheard in a customer's staff room)

Grim.

A girl at my daughter's school was showing off her new tattoo. It was a chinese symbol at the base of her spine. One of her friends said "What does it mean ?" The girl replied "It means true love."

At this point my daughter noticed that a chinese girl was having difficulty keeping a straight face, and so after PE asked her what the script meant. The girl told her that a rough translation would be "For use in emergencies only."

There is a moral in this somewhere.

A friend of a friend has an 18 year old son who claimed he was drunk when he got "Remember my name, you'll be screaming it later" tattooed... on his back

That's pretty strange.

It's a good thing that he's so comfortable with his sexuality.

I could write a book about the stuff I hear at work - in fact I am doing.

I had a flat mate who studies Japanese (dual honours with Latin for some bizarre reason..)

Once we were in a nightclub and saw a girl with the symbol for 'Cheap' tattoed on her.

There are more excellent examples on this blog. http://hanzismatter.blogspot.co.uk/

Rather famously, a Sheffield Wednesday fan posted a picture of his new tattoo on the club's forum. A rather fetching facsimile of the club crest and 1877. Surprisingly, the error wasn't spotted right away -

http://www.owlstalk.co.uk/forums/index.php?%2Ftopic%2F166681-well-chuffed%2F

"I'm not saying that Ronald Reagan was one of history's greatest monsters. Just that he would be if he came back as a zombie."

At the gym today and in the changing room was a bunch of old guys straight out of Still Game.


"- I see the co-operative are buying Lloyds Bank

- Och, I don't like the co-operative. They boycott Israel

- But that's due to the inequitable treatment of the Palestinians that's being going on for years despite hunners of UN resolutions.

- Aye but, the best tatties come fae Israel. My mince has never been the same"




Then

- My eldest was watching the news years ago when they were talking about Mike Tyson's divorce. "Here", he says, "He's spent years, *years* going up and doon the country getting battered and battering other people in the ring for money and now she wants half???? I'da battered seven bells oota her masel"

Love it.

At breakfast in an Inverness hotel, two English contractor types at the table next to me watching the news when the presenter says - "And now over to the news where you are" and it cuts to a local presenter giving the news for the Highlands.

One of the contractors looked puzzled.

" 'Ow do they know where I am then?"