Conversation:

Hey there

While I know you're mature enough to handle a difference of opinion with a friend, unlike some people we've both known, I do hope you didn't think I was trying to contradict you yesterday when I said I didn't think that (was it B or Master B? I don't know either of them that well and can't remember which of them it was) was picking at LW in a mean-spirited way... heck, sometimes it's all I can do to keep from busting the guy's chops.

Anyway, I do (and did) see your point, and I wasn't trying to contradict you, specifically.

And I also have to say how disappointed I am that when you and I pretty much made the same point about how foolish it is to value *any* college degree over a specialized degree or many years experience... (like actually having a bilingual applicant for a TSL position, for example? Sheesh), or how worthless degrees become when you demand *everyone* have one and so standards for school testing and admissions have to be adjusted accordingly. I know some people with college degrees who haven't got a clue. And some like yourself, who are pretty darn sharp and who've gotten more common sense, people skills, and all-around intelligence out of life than could ever come from a book.

So, that's all I wanted to say... I wasn't trying to be disagreeable or a pain in your @$$. Hope I didn't annoy you too much, this weekend seems to have been my weekend to work people's nerves, my own included.

Talk to you soon.

Holitas!

A totally needless worry, darlin. But I expect you still sometimes feel a bit over-cautious because of past experiences.

To be honest, the thing that I find mostly a big pain in the butt is when people misread my posts (either deliberately or otherwise) and then go on to tell me *what I meant* and expect me to defend *what I said*, when I hadn't actually meant or said it - very frustrating.

And of course trolls are always annoying.

But I've never found you annoying or disagreeable - and I doubt I ever would. Though of course, had you said that you hoped you weren't a pain in my big butt then you'd probably be in serious doo doo . . .


az

>To be honest, the thing that I find mostly a big pain in the butt is when people misread my posts (either deliberately or otherwise) and then go on to tell me *what I meant* and expect me to defend *what I said*, when I hadn't actually meant or said it - very frustrating.<

As nice as those narcissistic types who fixate on you, assume you're their friend because you express pity for them, then stalk you all over the place, having a go at you for anything you say that they dislike?

And yes, I also hate being told what I said, or what I meant. And it's pretty usually deliberate misinterpretation, don'tcha think?

I'd say that I not only don't think you have a big butt, but that what I've seen of you in photos looked perfectly proportioned and lovely (especially the one with the "sangria" dress), but then you'd think I was *kissing* your butt!

Hmmm, I'd forgotten about stalkers. Aside from being pains in the butt they are also kinda creepy.

You could be right that the misinterpretations are deliberate. I find you can actually learn a lot about what a person really thinks of you (as opposed to what they tell you to your face) by the ways they 'misinterpret' you. And then there are the super-insecure ones who think everything you say or do is somehow a comment on them. Ah well, takes all kinds, I guess.

Re: the sangria dress pic. That was taken six years and many kilos ago, honey. I wouldn't mind having that sized butt again. To wit, I have started taking yoga classes and will be doing a serious 'healthy eating' thing soon (just getting used to no longer smoking - don't want to remove too many crutches at once).


az

Well, in all fairness, I'm not as skinny as I was six years ago, eiher. It's always a battle to live well while keeping the butt down to a size that'll fit on one stool. Good luck with the healthier eating, but yeah, don't make too major a shift and give everything up at once... people I know who've tried that have snapped and gone back to everything.

I've quit smoking (in March) and cut down my to a glass or less a day (haven't bothered for three days), and it's gone well. So I'm pretty confident that it will go well for you, too!

Oh, yes, I have dealt with the sort who thought everything I said was a comment on them (or twisted it in their minds to a thinly veiled insult). Sigh. Yep, takes all kinds. Luckily, I meet more nice kinds of people- like you.

Ha! Mutual appreciation society, eh?

Something I quite appreciate about you, psychocandy, is that I don't think you'd ever take me 'the wrong way' or if you ever did - if I ever posted anything that made you wonder - you would take it 'off thread' and ask me about it before making assumptions.

I think we have all posted stuff on hootoo that later on we regretted. At least, I know I have.

I always find it curious when people will judge you on one 'overly emotional' post without remembering all the other rather sane and intelligent ones you made. Says to me that they were just looking for an excuse to 'hang' you, if you know what I mean. And of course I'm using the general 'you' here.

You just never really know what people think about you, especially on a site where the majority are British and are not by nature very forthcoming. And no, I'm not slagging off the Brits, but I know from personal experience (having lived there) that they are not as open as North Americans.

I was once told in Bristol that I just didn't *understand* all the various nuances behind what 'wasn't said' because I wasn't born and bred to it. And fair enough. It's also fair enough to say that I prefer people to speak their minds and not hide behind an intricate 'beating about the bush' manner that I find rather cowardly.

Spanish people tend to be much more open and honest in that sense. You always know where you stand with them. And I find that very comfortable as well as comforting.


az