World Domination Inc.

Students (UK)

Often referred to with the term w****r or t****r. The student is a colourful creature. Among the various breeds are the "Oxbridge Fool" (a noisy and boistrous specimin with a tendency for talking crap) and the "Expolynewmoney" (a recent discovery by the highways authority - cone division). Many students will argue they do not display their stereotypical breed characteristics. Do not be fooled. The consequences can be disasterous. A recent fatality was recorded in Nottingham (home of the "Notts Fool" and the "Trent-expolynewmoney" breeds). A "local" pub was targeted as new territory for "breeding" purposes. In the ensuing battle (usually involving tactics such as arrogance and the use of the weapon known as the "cheque book") a "local" lost the will to live and slipped into a voluntary coma - a new phnomenom in the medical world. Reccomendations when found in a situation needing to deal with a student include: * Hide cigarettes * DO NOT under any circumstances ask what course they are on, especially if you are in a hurry * Treat them with little respect - to be able to communicate at their level * If intoxicated walk briskly away as the urge to engage in fistycuffs is often overwhelming. Finally, just remember, the student will eventually metamorphosise into such forms as the "middle manager" and eventually, the much feared "executive". The student is a species that must be treated with respect at all times.