OK at Everything; Master of None... um... thing

My Cat Sucks1

A bad day at workI'm The Apprentice2 - or just plain old Paul. I aspire to a career in writing4; preferably something more engaging than the business designs I currently concoct on a daily basis. In truth, I feel rather like Kevin (on the right), constantly feeling my presence, wherever I work, somehow sits at odds with everyone else.

I have written a roleplaying supplement5 for the PARANOIA role playing game - called 'The Underplex' - as well as contributing to half a dozen other books in the range6. Alas, in the last few months I have found a few copies migrating into the 'Sale' and 'Clearance' section of local game stores. On the upside, this appears to have happened to the whole range, so I don't feel so singled out!

h2g2 launched on April 28, 1999. I wrote my first article for the Guide in May 1999, having joined a little after Douglas Adams appeared on the BBC's Tomorrows World programme7 promoting the launch of the site (largely due to the fact that my Internet connection was ultra-slow and the site was deluged with visitors throughout the whole programme).

I have since written many many articles, subbed many more - and hope to one day have my very own '50 Edited Guide Entries' tag8. I have made a conscientious effort to get two articles subbed every month - as well as ideally writing one of my own. Where the Muse remains allusive, I thoroughly enjoy digging little underdeveloped gems out of the Flea Market and giving them a new lease of life.

What Am I?

Under circumstances stranger than this I would be inclined to say that I was one of those people who feels trapped in someone else's life. Not in all ways... but, certainly trapped in someone else's career path. I have a creative tendency that seems to be singularly dampened by my decision to pursue a career in financial support systems... whatever that is.

My h2g2 Code is...

Once upon a time I generated this...

----BEGIN H2G2 CODE BLOCK----
Version: 1.1
RGB Y++ N+ SB A P-:- L- M s+ V++ E++ PR p- a- B+ TV+ r++ D T-- nh- C- m t++
-----END H2G2 CODE BLOCK-----

What Do I Enjoy Doing?

A membership badge for the Doctor Who group.Something akin to the scattered thoughts of the Randon Quotes Guild.I spend a lot of time setting up, maintaining and tweaking web sites. I have an unhealthy fascination with web logs and journals; as a result, I have about half a dozen of them, or more, all gathering dust at the same time.

I enjoy reading roleplaying rules and supplements; watching Stargate and Doctor Who; playing Magic: The Gathering; levelling up in an online game called Gothador; watching the squirrels in my back garden; spoiling the family cats; spending time with the rest of my family; and, making concerted efforts to improve the quality of my writing.

I've recently decided I might quite like hanging around with the h2g2 Who fans and those who enjoy Random Quotes...

Entries Trying for The Guide

A cat coming through a cat flapIn Peer Review:

  • Nothing!

Currently in sub-editting (my own and entries by others) or waiting for frontpage air time...

Looking to complete soon:

Looking to have updated soon:

Entries in The Guide11

I have either written or sub-edited 172 entries in the Edited Guide.

Two flasks, against which two signs reading 'Goerg Eneflus Stahl: Phlogiston' and 'Lavoiser: Oxidation' are placed. The signs then burn to heaps of ashes.Entries written solo:

Three heavily protected bio waste workers working around giant yellow bio waste binRescued from the Flea Market:

Entries updated:

  • A307964 - PARANOIA: The Tabletop Role Playing Game

Entries contributed to:

  • A530623 - Taxis
  • A517097 - Judge Dredd - Lawman of the Future
  • A397398 - Things to Keep Children Amused on Long Journeys
  • A381115 - Freddy Krueger and the 'Nightmare on Elm Street' Films
  • A630 - London Black Cabs
    1...it's tail. A lot. Actually gets quite disconcerting. Looks like the cat equivalent of sucking your thumb, leaving the end of it's tail a moist and withered wick of straggly hair.2The name followed me here from the Starlightlines Employee Forum, an interactive celebration of the Starship Titanic concept (rather than specifically the book, the game3 or the high profit merchandise).3Which, I might add, I have not yet had the time to finish.4I would drop my current job in a moment for a career in writing, if only they paid as much as I get now... which they don't.5It took me more than a year to turn out something that fit in 32-pages, which on the face of it seems like a lot of effort for very little output. In truth, I spent much of the time pulling my hair out attempting to rein in my wayward English grammar.6As a result of which I can find myself not only on a Google search, but also on Amazon... which is nice.7Which I miss, by the way. Somehow The Gadget Show on Five doesn't quite cut the mustard; nor does the brief slot on technology they occasionally have on the BBC morning news.8I'd really like one of those Challenge h2g2 t-shirts, too9.9And, if I could finish my entry on 1 Canada Square I might just have one of my own!10Should be able to update this one through simple Editorial Feedback, I hope.11But, in no particular order.12I wrote this article shortly after watching a fascinating, if mildly disturbing, TV documentary on the act of trepanation. I can also recommend the equally disturbing film Pi, which also features acts of skull-drilling to relieve cranial agonies...13I understand, following an update from the QI Elves, that you simply can't get eaten by a whale, because they don't have the throats for it. Evolved to survive by sieving huge amounts of krill out of the water, you couldn't squeeze down most whales' gullets even if you wanted to. Ah well...14While a rescued topic, the original article (A267112) contained so little information, I consider this a valid solo entry.15One of the most enjoyable periods of research in my life! I watched and re-watched the episodes over several nights16... and I can safely say I never tired of any of it. Classic brilliance no child should go without.16Not for research, but some kind of comfort instead, I can recommend 'Spaced' - feel good comedy for geeks. I managed to struggle through a particular grim period following the death of a family member on a nightly dose of 'Spaced' before bedtime.

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The Apprentice

Researcher U35204

Scavenger

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