A Conversation for Why People Lie
Lying vs. fibbing
dancinglady (Life's truest happiness is found in the friendships we make along the way) Started conversation May 11, 2003
According to my Collins English Dictionary, the difference between to lie and to fib is as follows:
TO LIE = to speak untruthfully with the intent to mislead or deceive
TO FIB = to tell a harmless and trivial lie
I think that when most people lie they don't regard what they are saying as a lie. To them it's a fib, something harmless. Quite often said just to be one up on someone else or something that gives them a sense of importance which they normally would not have. Many fibs are told on the spur of the moment, in which case the intent to mislead or deceive is not there because the lie is not pre-meditated.
If a friend of mine who is a little on the large side tries on a dress which really doesn't suit her but I can see by the twinkle in her eyes and the smile on her face that it's really what she wants then I would tell her she looks good in it and she ought to buy it. Is that really a lie? Or is it a fib? By telling her to buy that dress she's going to have something that makes her feel good and we all know that if we are wearing something that makes us feel good our attitude changes and we become more confident and sure of ourselves, which is not a bad thing at all.
However, lying in order to deceive or mis-lead is totally wrong, but I'm not saying I've never done it but I have noticed that as I get older I do it much less. Could it be that I can't rely on my memory so much now to remember exactly what I've said to people?
Hmm, there was something else I wanted to say but it's gone.....
Lying vs. fibbing
Moving On Posted May 12, 2003
If a person likes an outfit, but it doesn't suit them and you can see they want it.... then tell them the truth - it makes them look like a bag of spanners tied up in the middle and doesn't do 'em any favours. If the colour's fine, or there's something going for them in the design of the outfit then capitalize on that and help them find something that suits them as well as makes them feel good. It doesn't matter how good you feel in an unsuitable outfit - you KNOW in your heart and soul it doesn't sit right - but you only bought it because your mate encouraged you to.... and then from behind you there's a yell of derision and ridicule from half the oiks of the neighbourhood which simply confirms in spades what you half suspected anyway - you look not only a bit on the large size but ridiculous, too. So no, |I don't thank that sort of "fib" is justifiable. I'd sooner I was told the unvarnished truth than be fed a kind lie. Personally speaking, the truth can certainly make you feel bruised, but lying (or even politic fibbing on occaisions) can be really hurtful
Lying by ommission though.... now thats another set of circumstances entirely.....
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