Did I Leave The Iron On?
Created | Updated Mar 21, 2005
A general gloat over nations who can't speak English properly
Right, who's first? Ah yes, the Americans...
It would seem that my cunning plan of predicting the US to win the Ryder Cup paid off gloriously, and Europe romped it with their largest ever winning margin. Colin Montgomerie, the fat whinging Scot who irritates 99% of the Earth's population most of the time, proved a hero yet again by beating pretty much everyone of note on the American team and sinking the winning putt. Git.
I retain a note of sporting credibility by forseeing a Tiger Woods blow-out. The world's allegedly best and most exciting golfer was particularly poor and bad tempered; he needs to take a long vacation away from golf, improve his temperament, take a break, and hopefully come back to reaffirm his status.
A large part of the USA's failure can be attributed to their captain, Hal Sutton, who was uninspiring and particularly inappropriate in his choice of pairings for the first two days. By contrast, Langer proved an excellent man-manager, fielded some wonderful pairings (most notably the ultra-laconic Padraig Harrington to counter Montgomerie's short temper and the cigar-smoking whisky-drinking playboy duo of Jiminez and Darren Clarke), made excellent use of Luke Donald - a native to the US Tour - and quite clearly inspired 12 European golfers to some top-class performances. Roll on Ryder 2006 (K Club, is it?), I say.
And now the Aussies...
Well, doesn't this get better and better? The ICC trophy, a One-Day competition second only to the World Cup, has been taking place over the past couple of weeks and England are doing quite well. Now, the One Day game is something that it is widely acknowledge England have never really got the hang of. Along with the West Indies, we have moseyed along the sidelines while Pakistan, India, South Africa, New Zealand and - mostly - Australia have stolen the One Day thunder. This theory was confirmed earlier in the summer when, despite our electric Test Match form, our One Day team were consigned to embarrassing defeats against the Windies and Kiwis.
After a comfortable win over a tragically decimated Zimbabwe team, and a hard-fought Duckworth Lewis1 over Sri Lanka, we came up against the currently acclaimed masters of world cricket, Australia. And quite frankly, went about them in some style. English spin continued its renaissance as Michael Vaughan, of all people, took a couple of crucial Aussie wickets, and then blasted his way through the Aussie attack: his 86 seeing England to a comfortable six-wicket victory.
My co-columnist, several, will probably be slightly surprised to hear that an American team were represented at the ICC trophy. I was certainly surprised. They were, predictably, terrible. Australia bowled them out for 65, and New Zealand smashed a massive 347 off their bowling. Best stick to baseball, lads.
Several A/K/A Random's 'sporting blues'
A very ugly sporting weekend for the American Ryder Cup golfers, as the Euro team posted a record 18.5-to-9.5 victory, and I cannot stress the word 'team' enough. From the first series of better-ball matches forward, the Euros took to the course just outside Detroit, Michigan with, not a vengance, but a smile and a cigar in winning the seventh of the last ten Ryder competitions.
Even the Euro captain, Bernhard Langer, won the matchups battle with America's Hal Sutton in the Friday and Saturday rounds as the US trailed 11-5 going in to the singles on Sunday, just about assuring that the four-pound trophy returns to the Isle and the Continent for two years... and perhaps beyond. (For what it's worth, Ian Woosnam reports that the Ryder holds about a half-bottle of champagne.)
In other AmSport action, the baseball season draws down to its last two weeks, with basically only the seeding left to be determined. Oh, the Anaheim Angels could overtake the Oakland Athletics in the American League West, just as Barry Bonds' San Francisco Giants are within striking distance of the Los Angeles Dodgers in the National West, plus next weekend's Yankers-at-Boston Red Sox series could tighten the AL East race, but it's nearly set in stone that the Minnesota Twins, the Yankers, Boston and either Oakland or Anaheim will meet in the AL; in the NL, the St Louis Cardinals are clinched with Atlanta, LA and 'Frisco only threatened by the Chicago Cubs or the Houston Astros for a playoff berth.
Bonds easily slipped past the 700-home run mark, blasting the milestone and number 701 over the weekend. He'll have to wait until next year to pass the legendary Babe Ruth's mark of 714. Not bad for a 40-year-old, eh? Another individual record chase is Seattle's Ichiro Suzuki with 236 base hits this season, 21 shy of George Sisler's 1920 record of 257. Sisler will stay in the record books, though, as he accoumplished the feat in a 154 game season, not the 162 they play today.
And across the biggest pond, the Japanese players DID go on a weekend strike, as the owners refused to stop the merger of two clubs, and the players insisted on adding one or two. Negotiations, as they say, are ongoing.
Moving over to AmFoot, week two of the 16-game season held no major upsets, save the Chicago Bears' 21-10 victory over Green Bay's Packers. Among the notables are the defending champion New England Patriots' 17th straight victory, going back to last year and the snapping of a streak for wide receiver Jerry Rice, whose 18-year, 274 consecutive games of catching at least one pass was sadly stopped. The 41-year-old Rice was very dismayed as the final seconds ticked away in a bittersweet 13-10 victory.
Upcoming matchups this weekend look to be the Green Bay-at-Indianapolis, Jacksonville-at-Tennessee and Chicago-at-Minnesota on Sunday, and the Monday nighter of Dallas at Washington, if only because the two coaches, Bill Parcells and Joe Gibbs, have won five Super Bowl rings between them.
As always, questions and/or comments will be cheerfully forwarded to an underwater post office in the Florida panhandle. That's the AmSports report, over and out!
Did I Leave The Iron On? Archive
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with Several a.k.a. Random
