On Monday I watched the final episode of Voyager, and wondered where the time went... it seems

only yesterday that I sat down with great anticipation and enjoy the first ever episode of a new Trek

series, and that was seven years ago... Time does fly doesn't it, and so much has happened in the

intervening years, it got me to thinking how lucky you are to have someone helping you to see just a

small step into the future, someone to guide you on the tricky path of life, someone to steer you

around the obsticles and pits and not forgetting Uranus, I mean who really wants to bump into

Uranus?!? You really are so very lucky to have me...~modest grin~

I am quite willing to answer all questions and queries regarding this subject, and if wanted I can help

with problems from researchers via e-mail. Due to time restrictions I cannot reply to each individual

e-mail personally, but will give the answer to your problems on the Horror Scope page. Please send

your letters and queries to me Mystic

Greebs.

The Horror Scope is divided rather neatly up into twelve sections, January through to December, and

you will be able to tell which section you fall under by looking to the day you joined h2g2.

For those of you with limited understanding, I will explain further. If you joined h2g2 on the 25th

April 2001, then your section will be April and you can read your future under that section

heading.

JANUARY

The internal wind of torment has passed Uranus, so be wary of people from foreign climbs, especially

if they are trying to sell you curry.


FEBRUARY

The stains as the bottom of the Coffee Mug suggest that you will lose power by the weekend. The

night will be dark and your aura will be dim. Maybe you should pay your electricity bill!!!


MARCH

The stars reveal that it is a good time to take up a new hobby. The time on your hands is caused by

the ever ticking of the clock. Do not forget to wind it.


APRIL

A sheep walking backwards under a yellow ladder signifies that the time is right to plan for a

summer vacation. Alternatively, it could also mean the circus is in town.


MAY

Sunday would be a good day to do something totally for yourself. You need pampering, and that

doesn't mean you need to wear underwear reserved for babies. Or do you have a little problem you

would like to share?


JUNE

The troubling dreams you have been having will be excised if you face up to your fears. Do not put

tomato sauce on your food on Wednesday, it would be very unlucky. Trust Me!!


JULY

A challenge will confront you on Monday, but don't worry, it is one you are well up to beating. A

fight with a tin of peas and a tin opener is not advised today.


AUGUST

The Whingy Board begged me to tell you that that a tall, moustached, handsome, roguish man that you

have never met had a message for you, 'Frankly my dear, I don't give a forty-two!!'


SEPTEMBER

Those terrifying dreams of you eating a marshmallow will end on Thursday. You will wake up in the

morning with a full tummy, but minus your pillow. Do not look down upon the old and stale, it comes to

us all in time.


OCTOBER

The weekend would be a good time to stretch your legs, its time to get in a bit of exercise. You will

feel better for it, and you might meet a new friend if you know where to look.


NOVEMBER

So many different things grab your attention this week, you are not sure which way to turn first.

The Copper Kettle of life is at boiling point, so STOP, relax with a hot drink, and don't forget to

grab your attention back!!!


DECEMBER

You will undertake a voyage of discovery and meet a tall, dark stranger who will show you the meaning

of Life, The Universe and Everything, but please don't forget to call a plumber to unblock your

toilet, or it will overflow and cause terrible destruction.

21.02.02. Front Page

Back Issue Page