I Couldn't Care Less: No Less a Rib
Created | Updated Jun 30, 2013
No Less a Rib
Last week I was having a discussion on twitter with comedian Nadia Kamil about whether or not a piece of abuse shouted at a woman on a bicycle constituted sexism. Since I can't remotely repeat what was shouted on this charming site, I shan't get into the ebb and flow of the debate, but it did get me thinking. Today (last Monday) I was sitting in my dentist's waiting room glancing idly over the magazines when I spotted a cover reference to a piece about everyday sexism. My thoughts well and truly provoked, I read on. Then I stopped reading and carried on thinking.
Prejudice is a debate I step into tentatively because, as a heterosexual white male of no fixed faith living in the UK, I am not generally a victim of it. That's not to say that I feel blasé about the subject, I just don't really feel qualified to comment. But the trouble is that if people like me leave the shouting to the victims, then three major problems occur. The first is that many victims won't speak up. The second is that the ones who do speak up will be, by definition, the most direct and some of them will shout so loudly that people will stop listening. The third is that people who don't like a particular group, or don't take them seriously, are less likely to listen to this group complaining about discrimination. The flip side, of course, if that if the likes of me wade in, they might well be accused of having no idea what they are talking about. But then, y'know, that's never stopped me before.
The first issue is the business of sexism in humour. The trouble here is that it sort of disappears. A social media site who shall remain nameless hosts a page which, amongst its other amusing offerings, posted a slogan jokingly advocating rape. A clothing company produced a t-shirt with an apology for… and listed a series of reasons why you might commit acts of domestic violence1. This is problematic for women who complain because, since it's 'just a joke', they can be accused of being po-faced and humourless. Have a laugh, luv. But nothing that touches on a serious subject is ever 'just a joke'. It is possible to make jokes that seem offensive and yet have a serious and arguably justifiable agenda, but if you can't argue this case then you're just diminishing the importance of sensitive subjects. You're enabling people to dismiss the seriousness of these actions and offering them a moral get-out-of-jail-free card if they chose to take them.
But there is also the sexism in earnest. We have of course made strides of giving women theoretically equal rights to pay, employment, voting and so on. It's difficult to iron out discrimination in some circumstances because it's hard to prove. What remains is the 'small' acts of sexism. Shouting inappropriately lewd or sexually aggressive remarks. Equally lewd and inappropriate physical contact. Essentially treating women in a way you would never treat men. Now men who act this way might argue that they have no desire to ask men to get their… whatever out. But that's not the point. You probably have thoughts about lots of people as they pass you by, but you don't shout most of them at a deafening volume from up a ladder. Men and women both have equal rights not to be harassed, assaulted, threatened, diminished, patronised, frightened, distressed or objectified. So: misogynists2 the next time you see an attractive looking woman and consider it appropriate to loudly wolf whistle at her, tell yourself that you must shout 'oi mate- nice pecs' at the next well-toned man you see. If you are not willing to do that (and I bet you're not) then take this as a sign that you should keep your thoughts to yourself.
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