These days, almost nothing is impossible. Except maybe a day with nothing but good news.

Were you able to guess whether the weird news item was True or False? Now you will have more sympathy with journalists, and stop calling them names.

1. The president of the US has acquired a pet armadillo named Alamo. The animal was orphaned in Hurricane Irma. So far, it has bitten him twice. False. The US president doesn't have any pets, which is why none have bitten him.
2. A car factory in India was evacuated for 36 hours when a cat was spotted on the premises. True. The cat in question was a leopard.
3. A daring prison break in the US involved the strategic use of peanut butter. True. They used it to change the door numbers in the cell block, thus tricking a rookie guard into unlocking the wrong door. No more peanut butter in that lockup.
4. The Federal German state of Bavaria has outlawed the sale of Wolpertingers – artificial stuffed animals created by taxidermists – under a new 'truth in packaging' law. False. Are you kidding? The Wolpertinger is practically the Bavarian state mascot.
5. Someone has photographed a ghost on the stairs at the Stanley Hotel in Colorado (US), model for the Overlook in The Shining. True. Well, it looks like a ghost to us. At least, on Halloween.
6. A high school in Baltimore, Maryland (US) was evacuated by a hazmat team. The culprit odour in the school? Pumpkin spice. True. That stuff is everywhere.
7. In Turin, Italy, two criminals wore masks of Vladimir Putin while robbing cash machines. False. Or, as the US president would say, 'Wrong.' They wore masks of Mr Trump, who appears to be more popular with bank robbers these days. Sorry, Mr Putin.
8. A five-year-old boy in Tucuman, Argentina, swallowed a pet toy. His mom took him to the hospital because he couldn't stop squeaking. True. The accident, though not life-threatening, was pretty annoying.
9. A man in Casper, Wyoming (US) was arrested for public drunkenness. His excuse was that he was time travelling, and aliens in the future made him drunk. True. We're not recommending you try this excuse out on the local constabulary, but we thought it was refreshingly novel.
10. Freewayriding has managed to get a photograph of the Liverpool ghost named Betty. False. Alas, no. Our intrepid reporter was chased off the site by humourless security guards. We know she's there, though.

Do you wonder that newspaper readers don't know what to believe? The facts are stranger than the fiction by far.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

30.10.17 Front Page

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