Writing Right with Dmitri: Deck the Halls

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Writing Right with Dmitri: Deck the Halls

Editor at work.

It's that time of year again: people want to talk holidays, and you, as a writer, don't.

Don't get us wrong. You like the holidays. You've been busy with your gift list all year. You're practicing Christmas music like mad, Leslie on full blast. You're simply full of cheer. But what, you ask yourself, is left to say about the annual red-and-green funfest?

  • Christmas is too commercial.
  • Christmas is too hectic.
  • Christmas should really be about peace and light, not buying useless tschotchkes.
  • Those Christmas movies suck bigly.

You've run out of holiday anecdotes. If one more person says something about 'the true meaning of…', you'll scream. But your local website wants something holiday-y. What to do?

How about doing what we all do best: steal an idea from the Weird News? Take one of these absolutely true new items as inspiration, and write a parody piece, opinion essay (possibly tongue-in-cheek), poem, short-short story, or what-have you?

These weird news titbits are good for a lot. For one thing, I didn't have to write a column this week. For another, somebody might take one of these ideas and run with it – in which case, you know where my inbox is located. If you stumble across any more weird holiday news, please remember to share.

In the meantime, I think I'll go and lie down. I've got this song about the Star of Bethlehem stuck in my head, and I'm beginning to feel a strong empathy with the store-counter clerks. . .

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Dmitri Gheorgheni

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