The h2g2 Post 15.01.24

Created Dec 29, 2023 | Updated Jan 13, 2024

A crest bearing the legend The H2G2 Post

Posted: 15^th January 2024

This week's title is Here's Looking at You. Clockwise from upper left: a starling on a branch looking straight at the camera, some geese flying overhead at sunset, a golden plover giving us the side-eye, three ornate windows looking down on Wiener Neustadt, the headlight of a miniature train headed around the Christmas tree, a bullfinch pretending to ignore the photographer because it's too dignified, a pond reflecting sunlight on a summer's afternoon, a sasquatch eyeing us warily as he strides across the desk past the telephone (he's a miniature Bigfoot), a couple of interatheriines (extinct mammals) romping on an imaginary veldt, and a shorteared owl in flight.

Hello, lovely people. We have things for you to look at. And read. Did we mention reading? The novellas are here! Well, the prologues and first chapters are. There's a whole section of this magazine that is entirely devoted to storytelling. We expect you to jump right in. FWR has a thrilling start. Caiman's will alarm all parents of teenagers (and possibly everybody in the Netherlands). Tavaron's will intrigue you. Paulh will have students of the US political landscape scratching their heads although, frankly, what's going on in this story can't be worse than what's going on in so-called reality. I will guarantee that my prologue this week, although worse than useless from a narrative perspective, will at least answer a question that is likely to have perplexed more than one Post reader in the past couple of decades. Enough said.

We also have birds. I mean, we really have birds. Birds flying. Birds perching. Birds giving you the bird. Birds with funny expressions on their little bird faces. Bird statistics. You're gonna love the birds.

And then, of course, Willem tells us about. . . no, not birds: some amazing, endearing critters from our planet's past. You'll enjoy.

We have more: cinema insight from Awix, graphic humour from Bluebottle, a quiz to broaden your knowledge, glimpses of things real and imagined. It's a smorgasbord.

And just when you thought we couldn't top ourselves, we go and offer you a chance to write something yourself. Try the science fiction writing challenge. Seriously: please. Apparently, I started this short story two whole years ago and then completely forgot about it. I mean, I forgot I wrote it. I forgot what the story was. I have no idea where it was supposed to go next. You'll have to help me out here. Sigh. The first part was pretty promising, though. I liked the jokes.

So bookmark this. You've got a whole week to get through it all before it is replaced by something even more inexplicable. Have a good week out there. Remember to take your cameras everywhere you go so that you can record this world in all its wonderful weirdness. (And send the pictures to me!) Also, if it's snowing, wear boots. And hats. And gloves. (Willem: remember to hydrate.)

Dmitri Gheorgheni