A Conversation for Crater Labs, Inc.

CLI Request for Services

Post 1

Irving Washington

*A blue envelope is dropped off by an altogether worried-looking Irv, who then returns to the cafe. The exterior of the envelope is marked with the Cafe as the return address, and in the outgoing address box is simply marked:

Service Department
Crater Labs, Incorporated
The Crater
H2G2 Island

The envelope appears to contain no more than a single sheet of paper.*


CLI Request for Services

Post 2

Afgncaap5

*Look at the single sheet of paper when the envelope gets to his office*

Hmmm. Invisible ink?

*Applies several methods of checking for hidden messages on the paper. Reads the computer terminal's results a short time later*


CLI Request for Services

Post 3

Irving Washington

*Instead of ink developing, or the computer reading anything, a voice seems to come from the paper*

Um, is this working? Well, we'll give it a shot. Hey, Affy and Gary (if you're there), It's Irv. I don't know if this is working, but the Infinite Improbability French Press gave it to me when I requested "Something that would let me make a Howler, only not as loud." I don't know how well it will work, since I'm still developing the IIFP. I wouldn't have to, except the IIEM is acting up recently. We thought it was the language filter, which I was ready to replace, when I saw that the original Babel Fish had been replaced with a cheap Alta Vista brand version, which of course gives rather odd responses. Almost, but not quite, correct English you know? Anyway, can either or both of you give me a hand?


CLI Request for Services

Post 4

Afgncaap5

*Applauds the sheet of paper*


CLI Request for Services

Post 5

Irving Washington

*the peice of paper waits for approximately 23 seconds before continuing, still in Irv's voice*

"...and after you're done applauding, could you go ahead and help me fix my coffee machine?"

*The peice of paper crumples itself up and attempts to find the nearest recycling container*


CLI Request for Services

Post 6

Afgncaap5

*Grabs the paper and tosses it in the "Recycling Bin"*

Well, guess I'd better be on my way then.

*Turns off the Kim Possible "Every Possible Episode Ever" Marathon and goes to work*


CLI Request for Services

Post 7

Irving Washington

*An not-quite-ominous beeping begins in the recycling bin, followed by a "poof" noise. The paper is gone.*


*NOTE: The paper is not to be confused with The Paper, which recently retired from homestarrunner dot net (motto: "It's dot com!").


Key: Complain about this post

CLI Request for Services

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more