A Conversation for The h2g2 Tour

Ask an absent father a question...

Post 1

Not Alesha Freaking Dixon

As per the subject, this is your chance to ask an absent father a question. Now, it may be that nobody wants to ask anything but if you do, please keep these things in mind. I dont really relish the idea of answering the questions of children because they are developing. So this is for adults. However, I dont really know if this forum filters kids from adults and so please do not be frustrated if I keep in the back of my mind that the person asking the question may in fact not be an adult. Sorry I cant give utterly in depth answers for that reason.

What not to ask:
I wont answer any personally identifiable information and people in my or your own situations. I reserve the right to have a cut off point for how much detail I dont go into and I only have so much time (sorry). I will say that my daughter, whom I havent ever met is 10. I would like to meet her through the appropriate channels such as CSA and I'd like to think that maybe she would like to meet me too, but that is all you need to know. If it is needed then there may be some anonymous details you wish to know that are harmless for me to say, but as I say, there will be nothing that can be used to derive people's identity, nor will anybody, myself included be insulted. With that in mind, please be patient while I consider if I should answer a question or not. Anonymity will hopefully allow all concerned to feel at ease. Im not a fighter.

Im not your dad or your extranged husband (nor am I "you" if you are an estranged dad), so even though you all have the right to be emotional, dont scream at me. Dont be angry with me, but of coure you dont have to agree with me and I dont have to agree with you. I will be polite. This isnt meant to be a situation where I set myself up for a tirade. Really if I go any further, Id just be repeating the forum rules. The usual. Lets not bad mouth anyone and lets not pick on each other for spelling mistakes and so on.

Why am I doing this?
Well, the reason is because I saw a documentary on the BBC called "Whos Your Daddy", hosted by the pop star Alesha Dixon. I dont particularly think that having a pop star hosting such a show is a good idea but I dont want to bring that into this too much. I found something rather disappointing about the documentary in that Dixon chose the worst example of an absent father to interview and I really dont think it helped answer the questions that many people watching the show wanted asked, because he wasnt a fair example. He was titled as the "worst" ina newspaper and by the show itself.
From the point of view of a mother in an absent father situation, the lady interviewed was the mother of Amy who in turn was part of the main story. She was a young lady in her twenties who was tracking down her dad. Amy was lovely and her mum seemed alright. Amy's father wished to remain private. As a result of Alesha Dixon's choice of absent father to interview (an repeating absent father with limited social skills), I dont feel that viewers got a reasonable person to ask questions. Im not here to grind an axe with Dixon, and my username is a just a joke. There is a difference between having a joke by calling myself "Not Alesha Freaking Dixon", and starting something personal against her. I just dont think she did a very good job of it. That is all.

So, now is your chance. Lets work from here. So what would you ask? I presume that there would be some stereotypical questions asked such as "why did you go?" or "why do some dad's leave?" or "dont you love your child?" etc etc. Fair enough, ask away. Please lets not be mean to each other, because it would ruin the opportunity for others. I just dont think Dixon did a balanced job and it isnt fair on the viewers. Lastly, if this is a bad idea and enough people wish me to discontinue the post, then I will. Of course, mods, just let me know if you dont want me to do this and I shall leave. I dont want to cause friction. I just think some of you should get a chance to ask what Dixon failed to.

I'll probably get no questions now, after all that.


Ask an absent father a question...

Post 2

Not Alesha Freaking Dixon

Oh dear I think I have posted this in the wrong part of the forum. I shall post it elsewhere and attept to delete this thread, or if I cannot, I will link to the appropriate location, if there is one.

Ask an absent father a question...

Post 3

Not Alesha Freaking Dixon

Sorry false alarm. I dont think that there is a family or relationshion section in this website.

I noticed that it said:
"This is the Conversation Forum for The h2g2 Tour"

and I wondered for a moment if "The h2g2 Tour" is a subcategory, such as "family" or "activities" or "advice" or something. Correct me I am wrong but I guess this is the right place to make any thread. As I say, if this shouldnt be on here, then just let me know and I shall go. I dont think I can delete it (help from mods appreciated).

Ask an absent father a question...

Post 4

Not Alesha Freaking Dixon

Just looked at the conversations lists and nobody has made a post about anything in about 4 months. If I put the sensitive nature of my post to one side for a moment, that lack of attention on this forum for anything is quite funny. At least something positive came out of this. Well, sorry everybody but I'm not waiting 4 months for a question. I'd hope my sitution would have changed by then, but hey it isnt about what is best for me. I didnt expect replies to be instant but for a forum 4 months is something else. Bye. Hope you all get a chance to ask your questions some other way. Being open is the best way (without indulging hurtful information of course).

Ask an absent father a question...

Post 5


Yeah, 4 months is a pretty long time to wait for a response smiley - sadface

Ask an absent father a question...

Post 6


Unfortunately, you were right in your second post. It's not that this is a 'incorrect' place to post a question, but as an information/FAQ section of the site very few people actually wander over here unless they have a very specific question that they want to read up on.

The best place to repost would be <./>Askh2g2</.>, as a lot of the Community pop in there on a regular basis.

Oh, and to set your mind at rest, the BBC only allows access to h2g2 for those over 16.

I hope that helps,

smiley - fairy

Ask an absent father a question...

Post 7


Good title. Seems one is at least uncommitted. That would be why a dad would leave a marriage and/or child, uncommitment. In the USA though it is 80 to 90% women leading the way to the divorce courts. So one question could be WHO left WHOM? Or did both leave God to start with and therefore neither had the commitment to make the marriage work and of course the children suffer as a result.

Some fathers are present in the home and their children might still think they are absent. I am a father and grandfather as well. But I'm not God, so I can't be everywhere at all times. Likewise children can pull away from their parents.

We know very little about FAMILY today. What is a FAMILY? A virgin man and married a virgin woman and they raised all the children God wanted to give them...

Or who ever shows up to sleep under the same roof at night?

Read the bible to find hidden treasure about FAMILY, father, wife, marriage, etc. Oh, yes there are many bad examples as well. Mothers that ate their own children. Divorce. Killing family members. WOW Better be careful if you read the bible. It might be exciting.

Just tell them, Grandpa told you.smiley - cool

Ask an absent father a question...

Post 8


My mother tracked down her absent father after 50 years and she had questions which might be interesting
-did you not want to know me?
-did you have other children?
-was there any piece of information that I should have had (i.e does anything run in the family)

Does your child have a relationship with anybody else from you family?

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Ask an absent father a question...

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