A Conversation for Vanderbilt's Folly - Origins of the Pennsylvania Turnpike

Peer Review: A639731 - Vanderbilt's Folly - Origins of the Pennsylvania Turnpike

Post 1

Jimi X

Entry: Vanderbilt's Folly - Origins of the Pennsylvania Turnpike - A639731
Author: Jimi X - U53353

A look at a battle between railroads which (quite literally) laid the groundwork for the Pennsylvania Turnpike - America's first superhighway.

smiley - cheers

- Jimi X


A639731 - Vanderbilt's Folly - Origins of the Pennsylvania Turnpike

Post 2

NAITA (Join ViTAL - A1014625)

"who were all steel barrons" 'baron'

And maybe a smidgen more about the turnpike, like that it was America's first superhighway. smiley - smiley


A639731 - Vanderbilt's Folly - Origins of the Pennsylvania Turnpike

Post 3

Jimi X

smiley - cheers

I'm planning a more comprehensive entry on the Penna Turnpike sometime soonish. This thing has been sitting around for *ages* and I figured it was time to clean out the files a bit...


A639731 - Vanderbilt's Folly - Origins of the Pennsylvania Turnpike

Post 4

Bels - an incurable optimist. A1050986

Hi Jimi

Fascinating entry.smiley - ok

Maybe it's correct US usage, but whenever this Brit saw 'alternate' in the entry I wanted to change it to 'alternative'. To me, 'alternate' means first one, then the other, then the first again, etc.

I think you generally need a little clarification here and there to make this less confusing to people who do not know that part of the world.

Some things I think you need to explain in the entry:

What is a turnpike, and what is a superhighway?

The route is to Pittsburgh, but you never say where it is from. Construction began in Harrisburg, so is it from Harrisburg to Pittsburgh? Or (guessing wildly) NYC to Pittsburgh?

'the southern tier of Pennsylvania'. To me a tier is a layer or level of some kind. What would the southern tier of Pennsylvania mean?

'Construction began in Harrisburg, at the terminus of the Reading Railroad's lines in the state capital' I can deduce from this that Harrisburg must be the state capital, but I think it would be clearer if you wrote something like 'Construction began in Harrisburg, the state capital of Pennsylvania, at the terminus of the Reading Railroad's lines there'

The Reading Railroad - a little bit more info please! Does that refer to a place or a person?

The Steel City - that'll be Pittsburgh, yes? Not everyone will know that.

'The Pennsylvania Railroad vacated its lines in New Jersey and turned them over to the New York Central.' Here again, anyone who doesn't know the area will be confused at this sudden mention of New Jersey. How does this fit in with a Pennsylvania railroad?

'The piers of the bridge still stand' - first mention of 'the bridge'. Which bridge, what bridge? Did they start building a railroad bridge then abandon it? There's just a little too much guesswork needed, I thought.

If you can manage it, a brief footnote on some of the personages, but particularly Andrew Carnegie and JP Morgan, would be good.

Sorry to be such a bore, but I do think these few bits of detail will make all the difference to a cracking entry.

Bels


A639731 - Vanderbilt's Folly - Origins of the Pennsylvania Turnpike

Post 5

Jimi X

smiley - cheers

Some suggestions taken on board. And I've even added a few links! smiley - wow


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Post 6

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Post 7

Cloviscat

smiley - bubblysmiley - cheerssmiley - oksmiley - biggrin


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Post 8

Jimi X

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Peer Review: A639731 - Vanderbilt's Folly - Origins of the Pennsylvania Turnpike

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