The Twitter Mermaid

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This, people, is why we are blocking followers on Twitter.

Lolita, the Online Mermaid

A mermaid's Twitter photo

This is Lolita, the Online Mermaid. She retweets your clever sayings in the hope that you will visit her sexy website. Here's her profile. What she meant to say was:

Hi, there, Big Boy! Do you like me? I'll just bet you do! Do you like my shell bra? I wore it just for you. Come to my website! I am the Siren of Love! Do you like it gently/fast/slowly/harshly/with verve and vigour? I can do all those things! Just click on my url, and we'll have a good time, you and I!

Unfortunately, Lolita is really a teenage boy named Vitautas who lives in his mom's basement in Vilnius, Lithuania. He doesn't speak English. So Lolita's profile went through Google Translate and came out like this:

A great big boy! I love you and I justify you! Do you like my dances? I was wearing only one. Come on my web! I'm in love with mermaids! Do you want light / speed / slow / extreme noise and energy? I can do everything! Just like my one URL, and what's fun! K!

Remember: Mermaids don't exist. Neither do perfect machine translations. But Lolita will justify you, because she loves you.

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