Hello and Welcome to the world of the Mad Boffin!

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<CENTER><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="somersault"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="somersault"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="somersault"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="somersault"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="somersault"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="somersault"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="somersault"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="somersault"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/><SMILEY TYPE="boing"/></CENTER>
 
 <CENTER>No reason for these smileys except that I like them!</CENTER>
 Yes,<VIEWER/> as the name says I am truly a mad boffin, <SMILEY TYPE="scientist"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/>.
 I know this because I have successfully passed many exams which allows me to buy various letters to place after my name (only ones not already used in my real name)<SMILEY TYPE="doctor"/><SMILEY TYPE="scientist"/>.
 
 <PICTURE
EMBED="CENTER" blob="B3129639" ALT="A scientist in front of an overhead
projection"/>
 <CENTER>yeah this IS a self portrait...NOT! Can't remember the last time I managed to get into a lab<SMILEY TYPE ="laugh"/></CENTER>
 <CENTER> It's been 15 years since I've had this much colour in my hair if you're the same why not try <LINK H2G2="A1080271 ">H2G2 Grey Hair Society</LINK> for all of us who actually remember most of todays world before it was re-invented for the youth of today</CENTER>
 
 I have been known to experience lucid moments when I make sense and actually re-join the non-boffin world! I welcome any opportunity to engage in a good "grumpy old man" rant, or even just pass some time, but please, although I profess to boffinist ways I know sod all about my chosen profession (Chemistry and Statistics)... that's what text books and the internet are for! So don't ask me anything technical. Too busy having <SMILEY TYPE="stiffdrink"/> to help you <VIEWER/>
 
 <CENTER>A short Biography...</CENTER>
 Mad Boffin was born John Galloway, 1962 in central Scotland (Airdrie), for those who know it, sympathy (in the form of <ENTITY TYPE="#163"/><ENTITY TYPE="#163"/><ENTITY TYPE="#163"/><ENTITY TYPE="#163"/><ENTITY TYPE="#163"/>)gratefully received. After much travelling around Britain, 10 houses bought and sold in as many years, I now reside in picturesque Troon on the West Coast of Scotland with Mrs Mad Boffin,(pharmacy assistant and blonde Goddess) and two Boffinettes (twisters of MB round little finger and Ninja wallet lighteners).
 here's <LINK HREF="http://members.msn.com/default.msnw?mpp=4263~5GAAAAAAACDoDdqUyaWkebAYd4TYJgfihhE234drsMt" >http://members.msn.com/default.msnw?mpp=4263~5GAAAAAAACDoDdqUyaWkebAYd4TYJgfihhE234drsMt*mna9BQxaEDSw$$~5HAAAAAAAE6QrF!*VZ1HxgggJBtE3rXtEl9hQd9roy7FM$">my MSN profile</LINK> but you'll not find anything there that's not already here, except perhaps a picture.
 
 Troon is famous for the.....,then there's the....., and of course.....,Oh and golf - the Home of Royal Troon Golf Course.
 and last but not least Troon was the birthplace of <LINK HREF="http://www.south-ayrshire.gov.uk/MERC/page4.html" >http://www.south-ayrshire.gov.uk/MERC/page4.html">C.K.Marr</LINK>, 19th century industrialist in the same mould as <LINK HREF="http://www.carnegie.org/sub/about/biography.html" >http://www.carnegie.org/sub/about/biography.html">Andrew Carnegie<FOOTNOTE>reproduced by permssion of the New York Carnegie Society</FOOTNOTE></LINK> only not quite to the same grand scale. Colin Montgomerie, the man whose putt on the last hole in '04 kept the Ryder cup where it belongs... outside The USA! was also born in Troon.
 
 <HR/><HR/>Some links about Troon and Ayrshire in General...<HR/><HR/>
 <LINK HREF="http://www.south-ayrshire.gov.uk/MERC/page7.html" >http://www.south-ayrshire.gov.uk/MERC/page7.html">Troon<FOOTNOTE>Ref. to C.K.Marr Educational Trust</FOOTNOTE></LINK>
 <LINK HREF="http://www.royaltroon.com/" >http://www.royaltroon.com/">Royal Troon</LINK>
 <LINK HREF="http://www.robertburns.org/" >http://www.robertburns.org/">Burns Country</LINK>
 
 I was going to add another link about Troon but it was full of local business adverts so it's a "No No" on the Beeb.
 
 Take it from one who's fallen foul of the rules <VIEWER/>. Read the copyright and intellectual property rules on H2g2 It'll save you some time and embarassment later.
 <LINK H2G2="A516034">House Rules</LINK>
 <HR/><HR/><CENTER>I Can "Talk the Talk" in...</CENTER>
 <LEFT>Chemistry</LEFT>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<RIGHT>Spectroscopy</RIGHT>
 
 <PICTURE EMBED="LEFT" BLOB="B57856" ALT="A chemical experiment"/><PICTURE EMBED="RIGHT" BLOB="B93069" ALT="The colours of the spectrum, refracted through a diamond"/>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 <LEFT>Statistics</LEFT>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<RIGHT>Microbiology</RIGHT>
 <PICTURE EMBED="LEFT" BLOB="B1109251" ALT="Cool graph depicting Vingean Singularity."/><PICTURE EMBED="RIGHT" BLOB="B2112111" ALT="A Microscope Objective Lens."/>
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 <SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/><SMILEY TYPE="geek"/>
 
 currently trying desperately to improve my understanding of Quantum mechanics and string theory. Mega<SMILEY TYPE="geek"/> While at the same time fighting off depression while getting to grips with the writings of Schauppenhauer, Kant and Sartre (not in chronological order)
 
 <SMILEY TYPE="musicalnote"/><SMILEY TYPE="musicalnote"/>
 ... I have fairly eclectic musical tastes and enjoy almost anything from Classical to rock passing through R<ENTITY TYPE="#38"/>B and swing on the way
 My only real annoyance with music is that if there's a singer involved it would be good if they at least tried to be comprehensible. Enunciate!
 Currently re-discovering the new crop of guitar led rock like Ash, Jet, Razorlight, Snow Patrol and Pete Murray(not the 60's radio 1 DJ! The indie/folk style singer) etc.
 
 Am I the only one who thinks Scissor Sisters sound like early Elton? and apart from the list above (especially the last name)there isn't an original thought anywhere in the popular music industry?
 
 but above and beyond all are <SMILEY TYPE="grovel"/>Jethro Tull and Cream<SMILEY TYPE="grovel"/>
 <SMILEY TYPE="musicalnote"/><SMILEY TYPE="musicalnote"/>
 
 I appear to be on a one man quest against bad grammar, especially the use of "have" and "got" together or the substitution of the latter for the former (you know who you are, shame on you).
 An example of poor grammar from a recipe book:
 "...take the coriander, throw in two teaspoons and simmer for 2 hours or until tender..."
 Where do I take the coriander? and How tender will the teaspoons be after 2 hours?
 <PICTURE EMBED="CENTER" BLOB="B693087" ALT="The shape of a question mark with a few of the world's different gods shown within"/>
 RELIGION - "OOOOH scary subject - BE careful what you say Mad Boffin!!"
 I was brought up in the Church of Scotland steeped in the doctrine of the two Johns' (Calvin and Knox) and because of the unique questioning basis of Protestantism I now have no organised religious affiliations. I have no angst regarding other peoples beliefs. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs. I am a <LINK HREF="http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/atheism/types/humanism.shtml" >http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/atheism/types/humanism.shtml">Humanist</LINK> and would be happy to debate with anyone in an atmosphere of mutual respect (not argue to force an opinion... there is a very clear distinction that seems to be forgotten when religions is involved.
 Anyway that was a bit heavy...If you want to have some intellectual chat about religion or the lack of it <VIEWER/> try...
 
 <CENTER><LINK H2G2="A665101 ">Freedom From Faith Foundation (FFFF)</LINK></CENTER>
 
 ...and finally on the serious discussion note...
 
 <CENTER>Is there for honest Poverty
That hings his head, an' a' that;
The coward slave-we pass him by,
We dare be poor for a' that!
For a' that, an' a' that.
Our toils obscure an' a' that,
The rank is but the guinea's stamp,
The Man's the gowd for a' that...</CENTER>
 ...
 <CENTER>...Then let us pray that come it may,
(As come it will for a' that,)
That Sense and Worth, o'er a' the earth,
Shall bear the gree, an' a' that.
For a' that, an' a' that,
It's coming yet for a' that,
That Man to Man, the world o'er,
Shall brothers be for a' that.</CENTER>
 <RIGHT>Robert Burns 1795</RIGHT>
 <HR/><HR/><CENTER>....Take a Look at these....<VIEWER/></CENTER>
 
 <CENTER>....Other group affiliations....</CENTER>
 
 <HR/><HR/><HR/><HR/><CENTER><LINK H2G2="a1046701"> The Pythonists</LINK></CENTER>
 <PICTURE EMBED ="CENTER" BLOB="B4882564" />
 'E's Pinin'for the fiords!
 E's not pinin! E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! E's a stiff! bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's SHUFFLED OFF HIS MORTAL COIL, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This is an ex-parrot!
 
 <LINK HREF="http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/monty.html" >http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/monty.html">Complete Monty Python</LINK>
 <HR/><HR/><HR/><HR/><CENTER><LINK H2G2="a2334007"> Masters of the Multiverse</LINK></CENTER>
 
<CENTER><TABLE STYLE="Filter:
Progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.Glow(
Strength=15,Color=#CC6600 )"><TR><TD>MotMV</TD><TD STYLE="FILTER: progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.BasicImage( Rotation=0,Mirror=1,Invert=0,XRay=0,Grayscale=0,Opacity=1.00)">MotMV</TD></TR><TR><TD><MARQUEE>Masters of The Multi-verse</MARQUEE></TD><TD STYLE="FILTER: progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.BasicImage( Rotation=0,Mirror=1,Invert=0,XRay=0,Grayscale=0,Opacity=1.00)"><MARQUEE>Masters of The Multi-verse</MARQUEE></TD></TR><TR><TD><LINK H2G2="A2334007"><SMILEY TYPE="tomato"/><SMILEY TYPE="tomato"/><SMILEY TYPE="tomato"/></LINK></TD><TD STYLE="FILTER: progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.BasicImage( Rotation=0,Mirror=1,Invert=0,XRay=0,Grayscale=0,Opacity=1.00)"><LINK H2G2="A2334007"><SMILEY TYPE="tomato"/><SMILEY TYPE="tomato"/><SMILEY TYPE="tomato"/></LINK></TD></TR></TABLE></CENTER>
 
 <HR/><HR/><HR/><HR/><CENTER><LINK H2G2="a516647"> Campaign to rename Thursday "thing"</LINK></CENTER>
 
 <PICTURE EMBED="CENTER" BLOB="B822319" ALT="Church of Weekendism by Redbeard"/>
 
 <PICTURE EMBED="CENTER" BLOB="B60498" ALT="A sandwich board man predicting doom"/>
 <CENTER>My alter alter ego is George the prophet of Thing</CENTER>
 
 <HR/><HR/><HR/><HR/><CENTER><LINK H2G2="a907382"> Random quotes Guild</LINK></CENTER>
 Here are a few to be going on with...
 
 "Blessed are the placemakers for they shall be called the children of God" 1562 misprint of Matt, 5:9.
 You see how close Monty Python came with the Cheesemakers!<SMILEY TYPE="bigeyes"/>
 
 "Only in popular education can man erect the structure of an enduring civilisation" Andrew Carnegie.
 
 ...and now for some Latin...
 
 "vivitur ingeio,caetera mortus erunt" Genius lives on, all else is mortal.
 
 "Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero" Sieze the day, put no trust in the future.
 
 "Sapere aude" Dare to be wise
 
 "Vox audita perit, littera scripta manet" the heard word is lost, the written letter abides.
 
 "Nemo me impune lacessit" No one provokes me with impunity, Motto of the Kings of Scotland
 
 ..and finally...
 
 "Romani ite domum!" Romans go home! (the Life of Brian)
 
 <LINK H2G2="A218882">useful Latin Phrases</LINK>
 
 <HR/><HR/><HR/><HR/><CENTER><LINK H2G2="a1123372"> The Assassins Guild</LINK></CENTER>
 
 <CENTER><TABLE BORDER="4" BORDERCOLOR="SILVER" CELLPADDING="6" CELLSPACING="1" BGCOLOR="BLACK">
<TR><TD ALIGN="center">
<LINK H2G2="A1123372">
The H2G2 Assassin's guild
 
<SMILEY TYPE="ghost"/> 

nil mortifi sine lucure
</LINK>
</TD></TR>
</TABLE></CENTER>
 
 <HR/><HR/><HR/><HR/>I was going to take a look at...
 
 <CENTER><LINK H2G2="a431911">The Procrastination Guild</LINK></CENTER>
 
 
 but never got round to it!
 
 Do you have a maths or statistics question<VIEWER/>? then try ...
 <CENTER><LINK H2G2="A895205 ">The H2G2 Maths Lab</LINK></CENTER>
 
 If you are as nuts as me try a few of the links above and enter a dimension, not just of time and space but one of ....
 
 
 TOTAL LUNACY!
 
 Welcome to the Nightmare!<SMILEY TYPE="ghost"/>
 
 <SMILEY TYPE="monster"/><SMILEY TYPE="devil"/>
 
 <SMILEY TYPE="spork"/> The jewel of cutlery!
 
 
 <PICTURE EMBED="CENTER" BLOB="B1779211" ALT="Area 42"/>
 <HR/><HR/><HR/><HR/>Here's a few of my 42'isms to date
 
 <CENTER>((9-9)+4+3)x(5+1)=42</CENTER>
 <CENTER>(9-3)x(9-5+4-1)=42</CENTER>
 <CENTER>((3x5)-9)x(4+<ENTITY TYPE="#8730"/>9)x1=42</CENTER>
 I'm my own 42ism (at least until May '05) then I'm a 43'ism!
 
 
 <HR/><HR/><HR/><HR/>Some more very useful links....
 
 <CENTER><LINK H2G2="a809147"></LINK></CENTER>
 <CENTER><LINK H2G2="a155909"></LINK></CENTER>
 <CENTER><LINK H2G2="a690518"></LINK></CENTER>
 <CENTER><LINK H2G2="a1098876"></LINK></CENTER>
 <HR/><HR/><HR/><HR/> Some cool pictures in this link...
 
 <LINK H2G2="A426548"></LINK>
 Once you're in this page it leads to many other picture pages
 
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mad boffin: Part time House Ogre & Homework Enforcer.AKA George the ubiquitous prophet of Thing

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