Sarcasm
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
"Sarcasm" is likened by most dictionaries to irony or satire, and is generally classified as intentionally hurtful. This general lack of a sense of humor is what sets most dictionaries apart from a wholly remarkable reference book such as The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
It seems to be the general consensus of the Guide's English contributors that sarcasm exists only in the U.K., lost to the colonies like the concepts of royalty and boiled meat. This is a severely flawed belief. Consider that much of the United States consists of identically homogenized landscapes, each featuring a McDonald's, a WalMart, a Denny's and so on. While it is reasonable to assume that many people will take these conditions seriously, some even thriving in such a uselessly kitschy environment, it is faulty logic to think that all Americans are happy with America in its current state. Many of us are not proud to hail from the nation responsible for both the atomic bomb and cheese-in-a-spray-can. Unfortunately, as a whole, we have inherited the English predeliction toward attempting civility on the outside, regardless of our inner feelings. The resulting contradiction in mood impulses creates the ideal conditions for sarcasm: contempt with a smile. America is more than the playground of the sarcastic; it's their Chuck E. Cheese.
Sarcasm in the Ancient World
Most modern scholars agree that sarcasm was first conceived in ancient Greece, when all those toga-clad philosophers invented most other major forms of wit and humor, such as the knock-knock joke and the classic "baklava in the face" gag. Some believe sarcasm (from the Greek "sarcasmos" meaning to tear flesh like dogs) was invented by Socrates, and that a great majority of his writings were intended to be taken as sarcasm. Many modern students of philosophy (my ex-girlfriend especially) would be greatly relieved if this theory could be validated.
The first positively identified usage of sarcasm in recorded history was by none other than Alexander "of Macedonia" The Great, who, when successfully conquering Egypt and witnessing the Great Pyramids for the first time, was heard to say, "Oh boy, a bunch of big pointy things with dead people inside! This is exactly what my empire needs!"
Sarcasm was adopted by the Roman empire during their glorious reign in the years just before the birth of Christ, but many of them didn't seem to catch on at first. Solid historical evidence suggests that one of Julius Caesar's last thoughts were, "You know, I sure would enjoy it if the other senators were to suddenly turn against me and stab me brutally."
Eventually, the Romans got better at sarcasm, even going as far as to set up a "Sarcasmatorium" in Rome, which was located, coincidentally or not, right next to the Vomitorium. There, Romans could be treated every weeknight to the often amusing sarcasm of AAlgarius the Cynic (no relation).
Eventually, the empire collapsed (due in no part whatsoever to AAlgarius the Cynic's often amusing sarcasm), and the world fell into a period commonly (and incorrectly) known as the Dark Ages. One can only imagine that the so-called "Dark Ages" might have been a little less dark had there had been even one person to observe just how "great" it was to be tried as a witch, or to get Bubonic Plague.
The Renaissance of Sarcasm
It was not until the late 1300s when sarcasm would finally be revived. The great period of rebirth known as The
Renaissance actually started when an Italian philosopher studying the lost art had made an off-handed comment to a
friend. The comment, intended in the purest sarcastic form, regarded "the brilliant powers of human reason". The friend
was Guttenberg (no relation to Steve Guttenberg, star of several of the acclaimed 'Police Adademy' series), who
eventually invented the printing press. While Guttenberg quite possibly had created the singlemost important invention
in human history, he was quite unfamiliar with sarcasm and consequently, the philosophy of "humanism", essential to the coming Renaissance, was spread across the known world. Great thinkers from throughout the western world eventually revived many of the ancient schools of thought, including sarcasm. Leonardo DaVinci called sarcasm "man's greatest weapon", and attempted to design a sophisticated machine for dispensing it in mass quantities. Unfortunately, the plans were destroyed by Leonardo's church, then headed by a humorless Pope.
Modern Sarcasm
Sarcasm had an increasing role in the 20th century, most notably in World War II. The Nazis had assembled and
trained an elite team of young men, known as "Der Übersarkazmenschen" to destroy the Allied forces with their
fatal wit. Even Hitler himself is said to have been visciously sarcastic, and many historians believe that this was the fatal flaw that caused his nation to lose the war.
In the following years, the surviving members of Der Übersarkazmenschen were enlisted by both the United
States and the Soviets in the Cold War. Senator Joseph McCarthy even attempted to use sarcasm as an excuse for
his devastating communist witchhunts of the 1950s, but had a hard time convincing the public that the whole thing had
been a sarcastic joke. It was the first recorded judicial use of "the sarcasm defense" spelled out in the U.S. Constitution over 150 years prior.
Conclusion
Everything in this entry is entirely true. Really. For more information, please see The Official Sarcastic Voyage Website
