American TV evangelists are born-again Christians, who desperately want your money to do 'the Lord's Work'. Strangely, this often means that their own pockets are filled, and their own TV station is paid to do more of 'the Lord's work', before a tiny amount is given to an irrelevant charity to justify their existence.

The Recipe for an American Evangelical Show

• For the first five minutes, beg to the audience for money.

• For the next 15 minutes, interview a prominent member of the church who has a controversial, extreme and not necessarily positive viewpoint on things like racism and homosexuality.

• For another five minutes, talk to the same narrow-minded idiot about why their organisation thinks that it's a good idea to phone into the TV show and donate money.

• Show a ten minute long video of a heart-string-pulling nature about the starving kiddies in Africa/India/South America/Solihull, even though the money will never end up there.

• Spend ten minutes pleading for money to help the starving kiddies. Don't forget to mention that Satan will take your soul if you don't pay up.

• Take ten minutes to play a mind-bogglingly dull gameshow-style game about The Life And Works Of Jesus.

• End the hour with an absolutely awful band singing a hymn or revoltingly poor tune with lyrics of their own making, preferably in the Country and Western genre, which might go a little bit like this:

If I were a little pet,

Then Lord Jesus he would be my vet,

If I made my cage wetter,

He'd clean it all better,

Chorus: My Lord Jesus is so great,

He is not a paper plate

Etc, etc, and so on...

For best results, this hour of programming should be repeated until all the people with enough free time to watch give in and actually send in some money.