Once again we are beholden to the current executors of the Knolly estate for letting us publish this, the second package of the great man's journals and memoirs.

The cab fair rattled up Tanners Hill and Charlie bounced up and down in her seat with obvious glee whilst Elspeth and I hung on to whatever we could. It never paused as it turned right onto the main London Road and hurtled off in the direction of New Cross, the Old Kent Road and Southwark. I'm sure at one point the wheels were airborne after we clipped a drain cover.

As I adjusted to this new form of high-speed travel, I took out my pocket watch to see what time we were making and Charlotte made a grab for it.

'Shinnyyyyyy. Wannnnnt.' she yowled.

I shot a startled look at my wife. 'So she can speak, then,' I muttered through gritted teeth.

Elspeth took Charlie's hand carefully in hers and gently released the nails that had latched onto my hand, not drawing blood but enough to make me wince. The sensation was not unlike those acupuncture needles Bertie and I had tried out a few months back. However, the way the cab was tossing around added to the uncomfortable ness.

'She knows a few words, indeed, and I think we can teach her more as we travel north. It will be good for us, Knolly, practicing one's parental skills.' And she squeezed Charlotte's hand.

The Thomas à Becket public house and Metropolitan gas works in the Old Kent Road were soon left behind, as was the smell, which thankfully seemed to have a calming effect on the horse in front. Just as well, as we had to slow down to get across London Bridge, which just suffers from too much traffic, though I have read it is due to be widened next year (That will be fun, I just get my own method of transportation and find I'll need to use the train and underground even more).

So we trundled over the bridge and into the City. Elspeth signed and pointed at numerous sights along the way and surprisingly Charlotte did seem to take an interest. Alas, she became overexcited once more and tried to climb out of the window. This in turn once more spooked our horse, so it was in no time at all that we found ourselves approaching the Admiralty buildings.

The driver called down, 'I don't think I can stop at the moment, guv!' I looked out of the window at the road and pavements rushing along below.

'Do you think you can slow down just a smidgen, then?'

'Why's that then? You gonna jump guvnor?' The driver laughed in a 'hur hur' sort of way.

'Indeed yes!' I called out.

'….er right then, I'll see what I can do,' said the driver, somewhat taken aback.

'Oh Knolly, do be careful.'

'Elspeth, you know as well as I do that this is not the first time I have had to jump from a moving vehicle, nor, I expect will it be my last.'

Charlotte seemed to want to know what was going on and Elspeth quickly signed back.

I took my wife in my arms, in actual fact the cab obviously hit a bump and I was flung towards her. I took the opportunity to give her a kiss on the lips as a goodbye and smiled at Charlie who seemed to quite accept me now (luckily). She tried to speak, but gave up and signed instead to Elspeth.

'Charlie says be careful, you are not a cat.'

I smiled at both of them and the cab began to slow a little. I opened the door 'I'll see you at home then dear. Goodbye.' Then I jumped.

Jumping from a cab, train or horse, for that matter, is a skill once acquired never forgotten. There are naturally certain things one must remember to do and in this case it was to let go of the door I had just opened. Because I had neglected this minor detail I found myself being dragged along the road between the wheel and the gutter — not an enviable position.

The driver looked behind him, saw that I wasn't where he'd expected me to be and then looked down and stared open-mouthed. Elspeth made to close the door and then saw me, I waved with my free hand and she gave a little squeak. Charlie peered over her shoulder and once more the horse caught a whiff of her and started to pick up speed once again. This was unfortunate and I did the only thing I could, I closed my eyes, said a quick prayer, let go and rolled in the direction of the gutter.

It is heartening to know that even in this Modern Age that the detritus that we gaily toss away into the street can be reused to great effect. In this instance it was to provide me with a soft landing. What I was not expecting, however, was that it would yell out at me in alarm.

'Good lord I do apologise sir... madam... um.'

I hastily got to my feet and leapt onto the safety of the pavement as another cab rattled past and then attempted to make out this strange creature before me.

The rag-covered person pulled itself upright and held out its hand. The smell that emanated from this creature was slightly overpowering, to say the least, and I reached quickly for my handkerchief.

'…money Captain, perhaps for breaking your fall?'

'Do you have a going rate?' I enquired.

The person put its head on one side and thought about this. I believe it would have been sucking on its teeth, but I had yet to capture sight of any dentures.

'Dunno Major, you're the first, usually I just provide the service of kerbside step for ladies and gents.'

'Well, er what do you charge for that?'

'Ah, well that kinda depends on the time of day and....'

'Look I'm in a bit of a hurry' I fished around in my pockets for any loose change and came out with two sixpences. 'Will this do?'

A hand shot out from a raggedy recess and the money disappeared.

'Wouldn't like me to escort you like to wherever your goin', I mean don't see people jump off things much... what sort of business you in? You look a military gent to me, man of action.'

I thought about this, it had always been an idea of mine to create some sort of irregular network of urchins and vagabonds to keep me abreast of what is going on in London when I'm away and here was the opportune moment to start it off.

'Naval Commander as it happens. Tell you what, I think someone is following me and I need someone to see who they are and what they do… think you can do that?'

He/it/she nodded. I was still not sure.

'I've got a meeting up at the Admiralty, so I'll pay you when I come out.'

'Right you are, I'll watch your back, nothing to worry about.'

I went to shake hands, but thought better of it. Instead I just nodded and headed off towards the office, knowing full well that I wasn't being followed and that my newly-found acquaintance would have little to report if they even decided to hang around.

Before going into the building, I checked my watch. I winced at the thought of Charlie's claws. Hmm… a little after three, good, Biggfat will be having tea and crumpets, I'll be bound.

The Great Knolly Archive

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