Over the centuries the method and recipes for making toast have been developed and refined by many different people(A Brief History of Toast) and their conclusions are widely known. Yet, there is a lack of information about the actual methods of eating toast. It is the aim of this entry to rectify this.

The Time for Toast

1. Early Morning – A traditional time, but there is a reason why this is. No one is on top form when they wake up in the morning, so the simplicity of toast means that you can just relax, and focus on savouring the morning and getting your head together.
2. Sunday Tea Time – Still feeling bloated from Sunday lunch and yet bored beyond belief, having toast for your tea allows you to experiment with different flavours and combinations without too much effort. Many of the most interesting recipes have been created at this time.
3. Post Night Out – You’ve just staggered in from the best night of your life, you're feeling peckish but you can barely stand, let alone cook. The answer is of course toast. It tastes great, simple to make, and will be appreciated by anyone else you’ve dragged home. The high fibre content also soaks up any alcohol still in your system

Eating Methods

1. Crust Last – This method entails the person to just eat the centre portion of the slice, leaving the V-shaped crust until the end. The crust can then be thoughtfully munched through end-to-end, or dipped into your condiment of choice. This method takes little attention and is suited for a person who is occupied with other things. This method is best used with slices cut from an unsliced loaf of crusty bread. This gives a substantive crust to munch on, and if using a seeded loaf, a tasty one too. All toppings can be used with this method.
2. Crust First – This method is the exact opposite to the previous method, and entails the crust to be eaten first. This method suits those who enjoy savouring the moment and anticipating eating the delicious centre. This method also best suited to slices from a crusty unsliced loaf. Toppings that are sticky in nature should be avoided, since your fingers will get covered in it. This is unless you actually like licking your sticky fingers.
3. Skimming the Top – A very complicated method, and is tricky to master. Here, the person uses their mouth to peel the topping off the slice of toast, leaving the crispy underside to munch on. Similar to the ‘Crust Last’ method but produces a more concentrated enjoyment of the topping. This can be used with any type of bread, however the thicker the slice, the delicious the 'skim' is. You get the best results if you use hot toast and toppings that melt. Good examples are butter, peanut-butter and honey.
4. Folding – No matter what size of slice, the person folds the slice in half, creating a toast sandwich. This creates the sensation of a crispy outside and soft centre. This method is extremely difficult to do with thick crusty bread, although not impossible. It is much easier to use a standard slice of bread. This method is also not suited to jam type toppings that can easily squirt out of the edges.
5. Pick and Mix – This method entails the person randomly breaking the slice of toast into smaller pieces. These can be made up of crust, centre or both. This creates a selection of different toast pieces that have different sensations and flavours that can be enjoyed in any order. Any type of bread can be used, however, due to its messy nature, sticky toppings again should be avoided.

Cooking Times

1. The Warm Wave - By basically waving the slice of breading at the toaster, this only really warms the slice. Since the slice is still extremely floppy, I would advise against 'crust first' as the slice becomes unmanagable. This flexiability is ideal for 'Folding', and produces a wonderful soft squidgey delight.
2. Golden Yellow - The slice is cooked briefly until it is a lovely golden yellow. The most versatile of the methods, and all the eating methods can be used on this slice. However this versatility comes at a price and it is not the ideal slice for any of the methods.
3. A Rich Tan - After cooking the slice longer, the slice turns a dark and deep brown. The slice is wonderfully crisp and breakable, and so is ideal for 'pick and mix' method. It is also stiff enough for you to bite the crust off or skim the top and still be able to handle the slice easily. Yet, 'folding' has become more difficult and should be handled carefully if not avoided all together.
4. Charred Hell - The slice is roasted until it is charred black and stiff as a board. No eating method is suitable for this type of slice, if you like your toast like this then you're on your own!

Topping the Toast

There is not the time and space on the entire internet to fully discuss toast toppings to the level they deserve. There are so many different methods to top your toast, each delicious in their own right, and yet they are completely dependent on each person's taste. That being said, most toppings share some common characteristics, and each topping will have these in varying degrees. Therefore they are useful to determine which topping you'll like to try.

1. Meltability - Toast is quite hot when first retrieved from the toaster or when placed under the grill, so there is much scope to melt toppings. A melted topping can be a wonderful sensation, and compliments the crispness of the toast well. However, a topping that melts too quickly can lead to drippage and a mess. Examples of good melting toppings are cheese, butter and chocolate.
2. Squidgeability - Toast is crisp and hard and goes extremely well with a topping that is soft and squidgy. So if you don't have the option to melt your toast, you can find a topping that is already soft and gooey. Jams and Marmalades are good examples of inherent squidgey toppings.
3. Stickable - Toast is mostly eaten with your hands and therefore the ability for the topping to remain on the slice is essential if you don't want to spill it all over yourself. All toppings should therefore have quite a high level of stickiness. Too much, however, means that you'll end up with a sticky mess all over your hands and face that won't come off. Good examples of sticky toppings are honey and Marmite.
4. Combinationable - One of the best culinary sensations is to taste two distinct flavours in our mouths, especially if they compliment each other well. This is also true with toast, and many people enjoy trying many different combinations of toppings to find that illusive perfect taste. So if you want to try this, you will need to use a topping that can be mixed with others and does not overpower them.
5. Simplicity - As previously mentioned, one of the great things about toast is how simple it is to cook. So therefore, how simple the topping is to make is also a very important factor. Some toppings can be easily spread from jars, whilst others require some preparation or additional cooking. I suppose it comes down to how much time and effort you have to put into toast eating.

"Bread is the warmest, kindest of words. Write it always with a capital letter, like your own name."