Peregrin has been elected President. He accepts graciously and thanks all who voted for sense and reason. He also thanks those who voted for him.

In the first press conference after his election was announced, he spoke the following completely original and thought provoking statements:

Peregrin's Acceptance Speech

Four score and seven weeks ago h2g2 Towers brought forth on the internet a new website, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are creative. Now we are engaged in a great editorial review, testing whether that website or any website so conceived and so dedicated can long endure.

Print is the sharpest and the strongest weapon of our Guide. Today we may say aloud before an awe-struck internet: 'We are still masters of our pages. We are still captain of our forums.' Ask not what h2g2 can do for you, but what you can do for h2g2.

Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that if h2g2 plc and the Guide last for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour.'

I have a dream that researchers will one day live in a community where they will not be judged by the choice of their skin but by the content of their user page. All the Guide's a stage, and all the researchers merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts. Though this be madness, yet there is method in it.

Let freedom ring from Mount Sandcastle of The Beach! Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of the World of h2g2! From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

I would say to The Post, as I said to those who have joined this website: I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. One small step for a researcher, one giant leap for the Guide.

This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

(Apologies to Abraham Lincoln, Joseph Stalin, Martin Luther King Jr, William Shakespeare, Neil Armstrong, John F Kennedy and Sir Winston Churchill. If none of the above made any sense to you, then you must have slept through all your history lessons. Take a look here instead.)

What now?

So where do we go from here? Is the h2g2 Presidential Campaign over? Far from it! I will use my new influence to encourage and support the growing community of h2g2. I will use my soap box to reach out to the community and proclaim the injustices of this world. I will use my newfound fame to pick up girls in bars and... no wait a minute, they said not to talk publicly about that.

To tell the truth, I was very much surprised to find that I was elected. I came fourth in the opinion polls and fully expected either The Celery or Demon Drawer to come first. My commiserations to all candidates who wanted to be President, but I'm sure you'll have another chance. I'm sure the time will come for another Presidential election... when I can convince you all to re-elect me as your dictator. I mean President.

And I owe an awful lot to my campaign team - Bluebottle, Amy the Ant, Big Mad Mr T and Croz. Without them I'd probably be the only person who wanted to vote for me, and I'd probably forget to vote. Thank you very much all of you for your hard work, and I hope you feel it's been worth it!

Meanwhile, I am happy to invite all researchers, especially members of opposing candidate's teams, to join me in the Alabaster House¹. I have a very dedicated cabinet up and running there, which you are welcome to join if you think there is a major vacancy.

Finally, everybody is welcome to join the Fancy Dress Ball at the Alabaster House to celebrate my victory, and a new era of h2g2!!