Dear AA,

I am in a dreadful mess, my girlfriend Wendy has run off with another, as she said the Christmas present I gave her, (a lump of coal and a large book), was not good enough. I explained that if she waited a couple of million years or so, the lump of coal, pressed between the pages of the large book would turn into a spectacular diamond, what more could a girl ask for???

She is now seeing Scruff the Dog!!! He has a big wossname, and she says he treats her as a lady should be treated. I still love her though, and all my pleading falls on deaf ears, I am so miserable and depressed. What am I to do????


Yours sadly,

Wilson Brown-Bear. :-(

Dear Wilson,

Poor thing, it looks as if your dear Wendy is going to the dogs. There is not much left for you to do except straighten your fur, perk your ears and polish your nose. I suggest that you allow Wendy to have her fling and get on with a new fling of your own. Start by throwing all signs of Wendy out the door and opening your eyes to the bright New World that is before you.

Within no time you will find a nice shapely teddy that will put Wendy to shame. Of course if you are determined to win Wendy back then you could always show your animal side by hitting that worm of a dog Scruff where it hurts (in his big wossname). Then, while Scruff is licking his wounds, drag your Wendy back home where you can charm her with your own wossname and show her that the grass is never greener on the other side, only full of dirt and worms.

AA

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